So I've just came back from a big holiday in France. It was nice and all, except from a very major ordeal that I can't be bothered talking about. But I realised, holidays can also come at a price.
As some of you may know, I'm an avid Internet user. Browsing the wonders of the Internet, enjoying new memes, talking to friends, blogging, etc. These are all things I enjoy at my leisure, but some involve responsibility. And with responsibility, comes reputation, which we need to keep.
Don't get me wrong, I had an Internet connection there. I had to pay 30 Euros and it only worked for one device, but it worked. The problem being, I had to use an iOS device which decreases the amount of things you can do on the Internet. All of which I have some sort of responsibility with. So now, I have one hell of an amount of catching up to do, so please expect more posts. Much more posts. Although I'm afraid, I'm giving up on this post.
Bye bye,
Bill
Monday 30 July 2012
Sunday 29 July 2012
The Computer is Evil
This week I decided to focus more specifically on my comics (which required extreme detail in some cases) and the scanlations I swore I would get finished.
By the end of the week I had finished this and was looking forward to completing the pages on my handy-dandy computer. But before I could do that, I would have to scan them in.
Let me tell you a little bit about my 'beloved' scanner. It's an old thing that practically runs on steam, it's so old. This scanner has a large plug that can't fit any of the computers in our house (Oops, that sounds wrong), so we used a specifically old computer that runs on coal that was made in the 1990s. That's where our story begins.
So, like I do every Sunday morning, I woke up incredibly early to finish off any remaining details needed in my pages before scanning and plugged in my ancient extra computer and pressed the button.
Nothing happened. I did it again. Still nothing happened. After a good ten minutes of not being able to comprehend this, I called out to my mum saying the computer wasn't working.
She pressed the button. Nothing happened. Unlike me, though, she disconnected the computer and re-connected it again and realised that a fuse had gone. Then we found out just how old the computer was and decided to look for another computer to use the scanner on.
I went storming up to my brother and commanded I use his computer to find out he had no socket for the scanner. My mum suggested we take photos of the pages when I began ranting about the details being lost and the such.
So we sat there for a good hour when my mum got a call from her friend about fixing her car and she used this marvellous opportunity to go to the computer store and get us a new scanner. Or a new computer that can withstand a scanner and Minecraft. I'm not sure. Hopefully, I'll still reach the deadlines by today...
Either way, fate is evil and opportunistic and will use every case it gets to make sure you are ruined by the end of the week. Never trust fate. Fate will stab you in the back.
Signing off!
Rinrei
By the end of the week I had finished this and was looking forward to completing the pages on my handy-dandy computer. But before I could do that, I would have to scan them in.
Let me tell you a little bit about my 'beloved' scanner. It's an old thing that practically runs on steam, it's so old. This scanner has a large plug that can't fit any of the computers in our house (Oops, that sounds wrong), so we used a specifically old computer that runs on coal that was made in the 1990s. That's where our story begins.
So, like I do every Sunday morning, I woke up incredibly early to finish off any remaining details needed in my pages before scanning and plugged in my ancient extra computer and pressed the button.
Nothing happened. I did it again. Still nothing happened. After a good ten minutes of not being able to comprehend this, I called out to my mum saying the computer wasn't working.
She pressed the button. Nothing happened. Unlike me, though, she disconnected the computer and re-connected it again and realised that a fuse had gone. Then we found out just how old the computer was and decided to look for another computer to use the scanner on.
I went storming up to my brother and commanded I use his computer to find out he had no socket for the scanner. My mum suggested we take photos of the pages when I began ranting about the details being lost and the such.
So we sat there for a good hour when my mum got a call from her friend about fixing her car and she used this marvellous opportunity to go to the computer store and get us a new scanner. Or a new computer that can withstand a scanner and Minecraft. I'm not sure. Hopefully, I'll still reach the deadlines by today...
Either way, fate is evil and opportunistic and will use every case it gets to make sure you are ruined by the end of the week. Never trust fate. Fate will stab you in the back.
Signing off!
Rinrei
Thursday 26 July 2012
Ghost Hunt - A Series Review
I remember coming across this series after watching Ghost Hunters and wondering: Hm... I wonder what ghost mangas I can get from Japan. Naturally, I typed up 'Ghost' on animefreak.tv and Ghost Hunt spontaneously appeared. I watched the anime and decided that the ending sucked and I should read the manga as well. I was not disappointed.
Well, with that introduction out of the way, let me introduce you to 'Ghost Hunt', a manga created by Ono Fuyumi in the mid 1990s. The series starts with our main character Mai Taniyama telling her friends a ghost story in the middle of the night at school (I'm more worried about how they got in) when the main character Kazuya Shibuya makes an entrance. The introduction is typical to start with and you don't really expect anything much until Mai decides to be a bit of an idiot and go to the haunted school house and accidently ruins one of the cameras and manages to injure Lin, who is Kazuya's assistant. Very smart.
Because of Mai's general stupidity, she has to work to pay of the insurance for the camera and Lin having to go to the hospital. I can't really tell you too much about the series without giving you spoilers, but I can tell you that the series is based around the many cases that Mai joins Kazuya (Naru) in and they have a darker meaning than you would all expect. Along the way, Mai meets a bunch of people that she connects with and forms a friendship with, but I won't note them here since I have a limited amount of space. Instead, I'll talk about three of the main characters:
First we'll start with our female lead, Mai Taniyama. Mai is a 16-year-old orphan living by herself in an apartment. Mai openly dislikes Kazuya because of his generally large ego (according to her) and nicknames him Naru (short for narcissist). She is hot-blooded, stubborn and usually causes more trouble than help, but she cares for those around her and has a well-hidden sense of knowledge and is quickly able to come to a conclusion about situations. For me, personally, I think she is far different from the most common girly, shy or modest female roles you get in anime today with an obvious tomboyish role and the capability of doing things herself. One thing I will point out I dislike about her personality is the times where she is completely ignorant of the situation and doesn't realize how people are feeling. However, I still find this kind of character refreshing compared to the usual female roles you get in anime.
Next up is our main male role: Kazuya Shibuya (otherwise known as Naru). Naru is the leader of the SPR group or the Shibuya Paranormal Research group (later it turns out that this is actually not the name of the group and it is an alias for another group) and a highly intelligent 17-year-old who started up the group for reasons unknown (except they aren't). He is cold and calculating in front of most, but he does in fact care of them. One thing that is also noted about him is he is a narcissist. Hence his name. Unlike most anime, they don't have his personality change much around the female role and he is genuinely cold around...well everyone. He shows his care for the group in subtle ways (ie. the coin trick when him and Mai fell down the man hole) although he keeps to his attitude. Unlike most ghost anime, Naru refuses to believe that ghosts exist in the premises unless it is proven via scientific evidence. He's one of those characters who has the sort of attitude where you love him in the anime, but you probably wouldn't want to meet him in real life. That's all I have to say on this guy, I'm on to Lin.
Lin is Naru's assistant that was injured on their first case in the series after preventing Mai from being injured. He rarely speaks and appears even more serious and expressionless than Naru. Except he isn't. He actually smiles. He bares a hatred to all Japanese people because of the previous conflicts between China and Japan, but after a thoughtful comeback from Mai, he warms up to the others. You can tell that he is more caring than he appears and, like most assistant, does all the dirty work. I don't really have much to say about him considering how little he actually says, so I'll just summarize with the minor roles before my overall opinion on the series.
In the series, you get a great mix of minor characters that you either love or you hate. I love the 'shounen detective' and hate the school teacher who is pressuring students until they start cursing the school. They are quirky and interesting. The ghosts themselves are usually rather traumatizing in both fear and sadness. My favourites was the ghost from the blood-stained labyrinth, which made me scream and run away from the screen (shivers) and the ghost from Silent Christmas which has me crying even now. You'd have to watch to understand just how real these ghosts can be. Especially that doll. That doll is the reason our dolls are now in the attic.
Now for my overall opinion on the show. The animation is okay at best, there's nothing particularly special about it other than the dream sequences which are often really beautiful. The music has a nostalgic, peaceful feel to it that can quickly change to sinister when the episode turns for the worst. The show has a great plot that can have many ideas and themes placed into it and the author uses every single one to her advantage.
What I like most about the show are the characters and how they respond to the casefiles and how their abilities can be used to the episodes advantage. I love how the show develops the characters as the series goes on to show that they are all useful in their own way and despite the fact that they know hardly anything about each other, they connect well which one another and you can't help but feel upset at the end of the manga. The anime has an inconclusive ending that doesn't live up to the manga's standard which literally had readers demanding for a sequel.
As a horror anime, this is one of my favourites that doesn't go overboard with blood and guts but instead fills you with fear because of what you can't see and what you fear might happen. The music especially helps with this as does the shadows. Shadows add a creepy feeling to everything.
So, with me off to search for more manga done by this author *cough* Shiki *cough*, this is Rinrei giving Ghost Hunt a rating of 9/10.
Signing off!
Rinrei
P.S: We really need to update the news. How on earth will I manage to hack into the website (heh heh heh...)
Wednesday 18 July 2012
Three Way Chess; Boom.
Chess is one of the few games in which I actually participate. Most games and activities I have a passive attitude towards and really only get involved with if somebody actually asks me to do something with them (which is becoming increasingly common; hm), but chess is the exception. I love chess and most variations on it, though I have yet to sample 3D chess. But one of my favourite forms of chess is almsot certainly three-way circle chess.
Three-way circle chess is a lot simpler than you might think. You sit three people in a triangle/circle thing and place chessboards in the gaps. Each person plays two boards, one as white and the other as black. You then play chess. However, there is a key difference - any piece you take may be used on the other board.
Now there are some more rules to it, but that's the basic set up. And when Skald, Pipistrelle and I found ourselves with not much else to do and three chessboards to hand, guess what we did?
We played three-way chess. And it was mad.
Basically, Pipistrelle mixed up her Queen with her King because they looked exactly the same, and this led to a confusing and perhaps untrue checkmate against her. (Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces N/A.) At this point, Pipistrelle played a harrowing game against myself which ended in the eventual destruction of all her forces - leaving me with twice the number of usual pieces to try and kill Skald with. (Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces 1.)
It was late through the Skald/Pisces game that I realised that I was close to being dead. Almost constantly in check, Skald had a plan in place and was executing it pretty nicely. And then I realised that I could strategically place pieces so that Skald's attempts were thwarted. After I realised this, the game was mine. I had an entire army of pieces. How could I not have won?
Actually, Skald came very close to thwarting my very own plans. It came down to the fact that he used his pieces better than I, but I used brute force with my army and prevailed eventually. He only folded under extreme odds and was overwhelmed by the number of pieces I sent after him. In the end, checkmate was inevitable. Final scores: Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces 2. I suppose I won there. But it could well have gone to a three-way tie, like in 'Cars'. But not. We weren't racing.
Of course, there's a way to play three-way chess where you use only one board, but that's insane, and better left for another time... Muhahahaha.
Pisces out.
Three-way circle chess is a lot simpler than you might think. You sit three people in a triangle/circle thing and place chessboards in the gaps. Each person plays two boards, one as white and the other as black. You then play chess. However, there is a key difference - any piece you take may be used on the other board.
Now there are some more rules to it, but that's the basic set up. And when Skald, Pipistrelle and I found ourselves with not much else to do and three chessboards to hand, guess what we did?
We played three-way chess. And it was mad.
Basically, Pipistrelle mixed up her Queen with her King because they looked exactly the same, and this led to a confusing and perhaps untrue checkmate against her. (Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces N/A.) At this point, Pipistrelle played a harrowing game against myself which ended in the eventual destruction of all her forces - leaving me with twice the number of usual pieces to try and kill Skald with. (Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces 1.)
It was late through the Skald/Pisces game that I realised that I was close to being dead. Almost constantly in check, Skald had a plan in place and was executing it pretty nicely. And then I realised that I could strategically place pieces so that Skald's attempts were thwarted. After I realised this, the game was mine. I had an entire army of pieces. How could I not have won?
Actually, Skald came very close to thwarting my very own plans. It came down to the fact that he used his pieces better than I, but I used brute force with my army and prevailed eventually. He only folded under extreme odds and was overwhelmed by the number of pieces I sent after him. In the end, checkmate was inevitable. Final scores: Skald 1, Pipistrelle 0, Pisces 2. I suppose I won there. But it could well have gone to a three-way tie, like in 'Cars'. But not. We weren't racing.
Of course, there's a way to play three-way chess where you use only one board, but that's insane, and better left for another time... Muhahahaha.
Pisces out.
Tuesday 17 July 2012
Fantasy Writing Guide?
Well, I was off typing up some guides for idiotic fanfiction writers (because that's what I do best) while listening to 'Castle in the Sky' from the movie 'Castle in the Sky' (how creative) when I paused to think about Japanese fantasy stories.
This is a typical thought for me, considering that I think about fantasy stories from all of everywhere in the entire universe (a reference no one will get), but today I had no reason for that thought (except for the music), so I stopped mid-type and thought: What makes a good fantasy story?
I ranted to myself about this under the influence of coffee I had not yet boiled and decided that dragons are almost always involved. This is mainly because dragons are awesome, but that's not the point. I decided, after having a nice long argument with myself (my inner psychologist doesn't approve of this, but I locked her in the cellar I don't have), I decided I would read more fantasy stories and then put up a guide on How NOT to Write a Fantasy Story.
I do that. The moment I think about a specific genre, I write a guide to stop me writing a story. Mainly because I have too many ideas and I'd blow up the universe with my ideas. I would. You have no idea how many characters, plot lines and universes in general I have running through my mind this exact moment.
In the end, if I was to write out the ideas in my head, I'd end up filling over 9000 computers with text and images. That's how bad it is. So screw stories when I have guides to write. I'm already practicing my skills, so I have time to write another guide.
Off to capture some dragons for experimentation on how they manage to fly without dropping due to their massive, muscular bodies! (Seriously, have you seen those burgers?!)
Rinrei
This is a typical thought for me, considering that I think about fantasy stories from all of everywhere in the entire universe (a reference no one will get), but today I had no reason for that thought (except for the music), so I stopped mid-type and thought: What makes a good fantasy story?
I ranted to myself about this under the influence of coffee I had not yet boiled and decided that dragons are almost always involved. This is mainly because dragons are awesome, but that's not the point. I decided, after having a nice long argument with myself (my inner psychologist doesn't approve of this, but I locked her in the cellar I don't have), I decided I would read more fantasy stories and then put up a guide on How NOT to Write a Fantasy Story.
I do that. The moment I think about a specific genre, I write a guide to stop me writing a story. Mainly because I have too many ideas and I'd blow up the universe with my ideas. I would. You have no idea how many characters, plot lines and universes in general I have running through my mind this exact moment.
In the end, if I was to write out the ideas in my head, I'd end up filling over 9000 computers with text and images. That's how bad it is. So screw stories when I have guides to write. I'm already practicing my skills, so I have time to write another guide.
Off to capture some dragons for experimentation on how they manage to fly without dropping due to their massive, muscular bodies! (Seriously, have you seen those burgers?!)
Rinrei
Monday 16 July 2012
Dragon
Hi all, I'm Dragon. I'm here to eat your SOULS!
No, wait, that was Pisces. Dafty., I am borrowing his computer to write this though as my computer would have a fit. I am really here to confuse you all. (And eat your SOULS!) Have I succeeded?
Now you have to reply to say that you are confused. Surrender your sanity or your souls. They both taste quite good with ketchup. Or beans. Or on toast. But not with charcoal; no. Nothing tastes good with charcoal. Bleugh.
N.B. I would just like to point out that that really was Dragon just there, not my mind being crazy again. Unless my fellows have taken over my sight and are causing me to hallucinate. Hm... Tim, why are you dancing on my optic nerve?
No, wait, that was Pisces. Dafty., I am borrowing his computer to write this though as my computer would have a fit. I am really here to confuse you all. (And eat your SOULS!) Have I succeeded?
Now you have to reply to say that you are confused. Surrender your sanity or your souls. They both taste quite good with ketchup. Or beans. Or on toast. But not with charcoal; no. Nothing tastes good with charcoal. Bleugh.
N.B. I would just like to point out that that really was Dragon just there, not my mind being crazy again. Unless my fellows have taken over my sight and are causing me to hallucinate. Hm... Tim, why are you dancing on my optic nerve?
Excuses For Which I Have No Uses
Following Bill's post about why he was absent (click here to view it), I've decided that it's only right if I throw in some excuses that I never use. For the purposes of this post, I'll be giving you excuses that you aren't likely to need. So, without further ado, on with the show!
My Hemispheres Broke Up - Your brain broke up with itself and now the left hemisphere wants to get its own place. Go figure.
My Hamster Ate My Dog - It's more than a little awkward when you turn up at dog obedience classes and realise that you've left your dog at home. Luckily you have a mutant hamster and everyone knows it, so you can simply say 'My hamster ate my dog.'
I Was Saving The World - If you're a teenage super spy or just your average superhero, why bother putting up with the cries of 'Have you done your homework?' Simply tell them the truth for once: You were off saving the world from Godzilla or somebody with a grudge against the US President. But then again, who doesn't hold a grudge against the president?
Your Mother Forced Me To - Those with wives: When she tells you to do something and you actually did something else, just say that her mother told you otherwise. Simple. No-one argues with their mother-in-law. It's practically a rule.
You Have Displeased The Editor - You have displeased The Editor.
And those are excuses that I shall not be having to use for around a decade, I believe. My hemispheres are quite together, thank you. I used epoxy resin the last time they came apart.
Until next time,
Pisces
My Hemispheres Broke Up - Your brain broke up with itself and now the left hemisphere wants to get its own place. Go figure.
My Hamster Ate My Dog - It's more than a little awkward when you turn up at dog obedience classes and realise that you've left your dog at home. Luckily you have a mutant hamster and everyone knows it, so you can simply say 'My hamster ate my dog.'
I Was Saving The World - If you're a teenage super spy or just your average superhero, why bother putting up with the cries of 'Have you done your homework?' Simply tell them the truth for once: You were off saving the world from Godzilla or somebody with a grudge against the US President. But then again, who doesn't hold a grudge against the president?
Your Mother Forced Me To - Those with wives: When she tells you to do something and you actually did something else, just say that her mother told you otherwise. Simple. No-one argues with their mother-in-law. It's practically a rule.
You Have Displeased The Editor - You have displeased The Editor.
And those are excuses that I shall not be having to use for around a decade, I believe. My hemispheres are quite together, thank you. I used epoxy resin the last time they came apart.
Until next time,
Pisces
Sunday 15 July 2012
Salutations!
Salutations, monkey-butts!
Today, I finished completing some digital work of mine so I decided that I'd start something that has seemed to terrorise most of the people that have seen it. I'm not sure why, I think he looks awesome.
I call it the 'Good morning starshine' war. So far, I have spread this lovely little fellow to Skald and the entire of 'The Dead Game' in DeviantART. I shall now spread it to A Whole Different Kettle of Fish.
Let's see how far Starshine can get. http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&biw=1024&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=oYhQe3RshAoAlM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quickmeme.com%2Fmeme%2F357sb7%2F&docid=drcASXlKy0rF_M&itg=1&imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fi.qkme.me%2F357sb7.jpg&w=429&h=438&ei=95MCUOuhHMq50QXW3cCKBw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=617&vpy=54&dur=672&hovh=227&hovw=222&tx=91&ty=136&sig=107921770563822857857&page=1&tbnh=149&tbnw=143&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t%3A429%2Cr%3A8%2Cs%3A0%2Ci%3A95
Signing off!
Today, I finished completing some digital work of mine so I decided that I'd start something that has seemed to terrorise most of the people that have seen it. I'm not sure why, I think he looks awesome.
I call it the 'Good morning starshine' war. So far, I have spread this lovely little fellow to Skald and the entire of 'The Dead Game' in DeviantART. I shall now spread it to A Whole Different Kettle of Fish.
Let's see how far Starshine can get. http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&biw=1024&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=oYhQe3RshAoAlM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quickmeme.com%2Fmeme%2F357sb7%2F&docid=drcASXlKy0rF_M&itg=1&imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fi.qkme.me%2F357sb7.jpg&w=429&h=438&ei=95MCUOuhHMq50QXW3cCKBw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=617&vpy=54&dur=672&hovh=227&hovw=222&tx=91&ty=136&sig=107921770563822857857&page=1&tbnh=149&tbnw=143&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t%3A429%2Cr%3A8%2Cs%3A0%2Ci%3A95
Signing off!
The Devil
Saturday 14 July 2012
My Absence and Why I Was Gone
I apologise for my lack of posting, not just to the boss, but also to my fellow authors and bloggers. I'm afraid to say I have no excuse as to why I have been missing as of late. At least, that's what I always say to avoid the situation uprising.
Seeing as I have no fascinatingly magnificent story to bore you with to excuse my absence, I've decided to come up with some bizarre excuses that you could use in situations like this:
The "Creation" Excuse - The world came to an abrupt end and you, being the God you are, created a new planet which is much like the previous one. The only difference is, it's in the Medieval era but you have gifted everyone with a BT router (and computers, duh), so they may browse the Internet to their heart's content. Unfortunately, you have abused your power and the other Gods have judged you and they take away most things you own.
The "Maritime War" Excuse - You have discovered a new kind of fish and you store it away in your house. Now Justin Timberlake, having quit his life of fame to become a pirate on the Seven Seas, spreads word to all the other fish in the water-based parts of the world that you are holding the new species hostage. The fish immediately declare war on you, lead by Commander Timberlake, Zelgius of the army, and being the redneck man from Austria you are, you fight back. The war lasts seven long years and in this time, you cannot do anything else but fight until you drop dead. You have the upper hand in this battle because your home is very much on land, in fact, little work is required from you at all. Soon after the fish realise the flaws in their plans, they become cunning and build machines, U.F.O.s and a Bioweapon named 'The Eternal Editor'. You lose the war and are sent to live in an Oubliette where, as you know, Internet access is not an option.
The "You Have Displeased The Editor" Excuse - You have displeased the Editor.
The "Darwin" Excuse - You aren't far along enough along in the Evolutionary Timeline, meaning you are still at the reptilian stage and you never did anything wrong to begin with. This excuse is more powerful than you may think because, if you are reptilian and can't do anything wrong, then the accusation, no matter what you've been accused of, is most likely false. That's why reptiles win. Amphibians semi-win but not as much as reptiles. Fish win but start warfare, so may never recover from experiences like that.
My friends and foes, from what you've read there, you now remember exactly why you've missed me.
I bid you adieu.
Billiam Harkin Hanselton III
Seeing as I have no fascinatingly magnificent story to bore you with to excuse my absence, I've decided to come up with some bizarre excuses that you could use in situations like this:
The "Creation" Excuse - The world came to an abrupt end and you, being the God you are, created a new planet which is much like the previous one. The only difference is, it's in the Medieval era but you have gifted everyone with a BT router (and computers, duh), so they may browse the Internet to their heart's content. Unfortunately, you have abused your power and the other Gods have judged you and they take away most things you own.
The "Maritime War" Excuse - You have discovered a new kind of fish and you store it away in your house. Now Justin Timberlake, having quit his life of fame to become a pirate on the Seven Seas, spreads word to all the other fish in the water-based parts of the world that you are holding the new species hostage. The fish immediately declare war on you, lead by Commander Timberlake, Zelgius of the army, and being the redneck man from Austria you are, you fight back. The war lasts seven long years and in this time, you cannot do anything else but fight until you drop dead. You have the upper hand in this battle because your home is very much on land, in fact, little work is required from you at all. Soon after the fish realise the flaws in their plans, they become cunning and build machines, U.F.O.s and a Bioweapon named 'The Eternal Editor'. You lose the war and are sent to live in an Oubliette where, as you know, Internet access is not an option.
The "You Have Displeased The Editor" Excuse - You have displeased the Editor.
The "Darwin" Excuse - You aren't far along enough along in the Evolutionary Timeline, meaning you are still at the reptilian stage and you never did anything wrong to begin with. This excuse is more powerful than you may think because, if you are reptilian and can't do anything wrong, then the accusation, no matter what you've been accused of, is most likely false. That's why reptiles win. Amphibians semi-win but not as much as reptiles. Fish win but start warfare, so may never recover from experiences like that.
My friends and foes, from what you've read there, you now remember exactly why you've missed me.
I bid you adieu.
Billiam Harkin Hanselton III
Alligators, iPads and Prosthetic Limbs
Did I mention ketchup? If I didn't, then I should have done so.
I am faced with a puzzle. How does one manage to successfully marry (in writing, mind) an alligator (sedated), an iPad, a prosthetic limb and copious amounts of ketchup? Bearing in mind that it must stay within the confines of reason, but only just. If it barely touches the edge then that should be fine.
Now if this all seems very sudden and random, that would be because it is. However, I tend to find the absurd to be very amusing, so I'm incorporating some really very random ideas into a script. I'm currently thinking of making the crocodile bite a man with a prosthetic limb filled with ketchup and swallowing the iPad in the process.
Speaking of iPads, did you know that iPad's operating system constituted 10% of last month's visits to this blog? Amazing... Some people just love us and Apple at the same time. Wunderbar.
That reminds me... Steve Jobs died, didn't he? It's a real shame... But at the same time, it increased public awareness of his actual existence tenfold. I didn't realise he existed until he was dead. Which, while it's a little sad, has to mean that his PR person wasn't brilliant, doesn't it? I'll have to make a point never to be stuck with that particular PR person.
I'm done randomly ranting. Pisces out.
I am faced with a puzzle. How does one manage to successfully marry (in writing, mind) an alligator (sedated), an iPad, a prosthetic limb and copious amounts of ketchup? Bearing in mind that it must stay within the confines of reason, but only just. If it barely touches the edge then that should be fine.
Now if this all seems very sudden and random, that would be because it is. However, I tend to find the absurd to be very amusing, so I'm incorporating some really very random ideas into a script. I'm currently thinking of making the crocodile bite a man with a prosthetic limb filled with ketchup and swallowing the iPad in the process.
Speaking of iPads, did you know that iPad's operating system constituted 10% of last month's visits to this blog? Amazing... Some people just love us and Apple at the same time. Wunderbar.
That reminds me... Steve Jobs died, didn't he? It's a real shame... But at the same time, it increased public awareness of his actual existence tenfold. I didn't realise he existed until he was dead. Which, while it's a little sad, has to mean that his PR person wasn't brilliant, doesn't it? I'll have to make a point never to be stuck with that particular PR person.
I'm done randomly ranting. Pisces out.
The Stuff of Legend - Legend by Marie Lu, A Book Review
‘Legend’ is a fast-paced fantasy thriller set in a dystopian future Los Angeles, where the USA is split into two warring factions – the Republic and the Colonies. Following the stories of Day and June respectively, it focuses on how enemies may become friends without even meaning to, in this case with a romantic element involved.
This book was an excellent read. Easy to read and sporting a not-too-difficult-to-follow plot, it’s a rollercoaster ride with some predictable twists, especially when you look at the big picture. The setting is incredible – you can really picture it in your head. This future LA is populated by fascinating characters – Day, the terrorist who doesn’t kill, and June, the prodigious military cadet destined for a life in the ranks.
Unfortunately, these characters just don’t quite fit. They’re your average high-achieving do-gooders, one being led through life on a leash by government propaganda and the other just a generally amazing athlete with a clever mind. These characters are the cliche of fantasy-epic adventures – and they’re completely unbelievable.
Although marketed as a romantic thriller, the romance in this seems very fake – more of an infatuation than real love. I mean, get real! Who meets a criminal and immediately falls for him and vice versa? It’s unreal. Putting ideas like this into people’s heads isn’t good. But hey, I’m not here to lecture on the ethics of feeding young minds bad info. I’m just the reviewer.
Some of the plot twists really are a bit predictable. When it comes down to it, the only possible enemy that one could have in a book like this is either one of the Colonies or the government, and seeing as there are no Colony troops in sight, it looks like it’s all the government. Needless to say, everyone else is blissfully oblivious to this due to their unreal lifestyles. Even when a revelation is made to dear June, she’s quick to dismiss the comment as ‘terrorist propaganda’ and suchlike.
This predictability has left me with no choice than to give it a simple four stars rather than five. That said, it really is a brilliant read. I would pick up a copy, if I were you. It’ll be the next big thing soon – the film rights have already been bought.
As a sidenote, there are certain resemblances between the recent bestselling ‘Hunger Games’ series and ‘Legend’. For a start, a futuristic, dystopian dictatorship is not exactly a subtle similarity. Much of me wonders where the ideas for this came from, and whether Marie Lu (pseudonym, by the way – check the copyright page) simply took a popular idea and reshaped it. But that’s yet to be seen – there are another two books to go until the series rounds off.
In short, a good book and a rolicking read. Buy it if you like some slap-dash action and slightly cliched romance, but if you want some lovey-dovey stuff, go for something else.
Rating: 8/10
This review was taken from Penguin Book's 'Spinebreakers' website, where the author goes by a slightly different name. To view the original review, click here. For more information on Spinebreakers and how to become one, click here.
 |
| The boom as I didn't get it. Boo hoo. |
Unfortunately, these characters just don’t quite fit. They’re your average high-achieving do-gooders, one being led through life on a leash by government propaganda and the other just a generally amazing athlete with a clever mind. These characters are the cliche of fantasy-epic adventures – and they’re completely unbelievable.
Although marketed as a romantic thriller, the romance in this seems very fake – more of an infatuation than real love. I mean, get real! Who meets a criminal and immediately falls for him and vice versa? It’s unreal. Putting ideas like this into people’s heads isn’t good. But hey, I’m not here to lecture on the ethics of feeding young minds bad info. I’m just the reviewer.
Some of the plot twists really are a bit predictable. When it comes down to it, the only possible enemy that one could have in a book like this is either one of the Colonies or the government, and seeing as there are no Colony troops in sight, it looks like it’s all the government. Needless to say, everyone else is blissfully oblivious to this due to their unreal lifestyles. Even when a revelation is made to dear June, she’s quick to dismiss the comment as ‘terrorist propaganda’ and suchlike.
This predictability has left me with no choice than to give it a simple four stars rather than five. That said, it really is a brilliant read. I would pick up a copy, if I were you. It’ll be the next big thing soon – the film rights have already been bought.
As a sidenote, there are certain resemblances between the recent bestselling ‘Hunger Games’ series and ‘Legend’. For a start, a futuristic, dystopian dictatorship is not exactly a subtle similarity. Much of me wonders where the ideas for this came from, and whether Marie Lu (pseudonym, by the way – check the copyright page) simply took a popular idea and reshaped it. But that’s yet to be seen – there are another two books to go until the series rounds off.
In short, a good book and a rolicking read. Buy it if you like some slap-dash action and slightly cliched romance, but if you want some lovey-dovey stuff, go for something else.
Rating: 8/10
This review was taken from Penguin Book's 'Spinebreakers' website, where the author goes by a slightly different name. To view the original review, click here. For more information on Spinebreakers and how to become one, click here.
Friday 13 July 2012
You Know You're A Writer When...
You know you're a writer when:
- You have to write everyday or you feel guilty.
- You eat cheese 'in the name of science', but you're really after the free radicals in that semisolid mass.
- You realise that you're carrying around a notebook specifically so that you can write down snippets of dialogue when you come across them - awkward in conversation.
- You realise that the family dog has become the antagonist of your latest fantasy epic.
- You find that you're miles ahead of everyone in terms of quality of writing in your English class.
- You read a book and think "I've done better than that."
- You start to think that maybe volcanoes aren't such a great plot device when air travel gets interrupted...
Stupid Chainmail - Don't Circulate
It's unfortunate that so many people are gullible enough to think that certain chainmail messages are actually true. It really is. Which is why I'm going to put one certain chainmail to a dark and dismal end. Right now, actually.
The chainmail in question was one that was sent to me by our very own Rinrei. Perhaps she can learn to be less compliant with her friend's friend's friend's wishes to create a lovely big chainmail that goes round and round and round. It's like a wheel, but less funky.
This chainmail detailed a 'virus' that was likely to circulate the globe in a few days time. The warning looked a lot like the one you see below, because I actually cut and pasted it from the email. Heheh. Why make a clever fake when you can just have the original?
First comes the not-so-subtle ploy to make you pass it on, then follows the actual 'warning'.
PLEASE CIRCULATE THIS NOTICE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ON YOUR CONTACT LIST.
In the coming days, you should be aware…
Do not open any message with an attachment called:"Invitation FACEBOOK", regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic torch that burns the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone you had in your address book. That's why you should send this message to all your contacts. It is better to receive this email 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive E-MAIL called: "Invitation FACEBOOK", though sent by a friend, do not open it and delete it immediately. CNN said it is a new virus discovered recently and that has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. It is a Trojan Horse that asks you to install an adobe flash plug-in. Once you install it, it's all over. And there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information of their function is saved.
Okay, so there are several clues here that this just isn't true. First of all there's that beginning message. What chainmail doesn't say 'circulate to friends and family'? It's the whole purpose of its existence.
Second, 'Olympic torch'? Yeah, very subtle. You can't open an Olympic torch on a computer. Especially if it's going to 'burn' your hard drive. Wow. That's just so amazingly coy and brilliant... Not.
Another thing is that I've never heard of CNN actually telling the truth. The same goes for Microsoft - and since when did they do classification of viruses, hm? CNN hasn't said a thing worth saying since they mixed up Obama and Osama bin Laden. That wound up as a clip on 'Have I Got News For You'. Hilarious.
Next, why would you need an Adobe Flash plug-in to do anything remotely connected to Facebook? It's completely unnecessary. If I were dumb enough to open an email entitled 'Invitation FACEBOOK' (note the capitals, people) then I certainly wouldn't be installing a Flash plug-in.
Finally (and perhaps the most blatant error of all), there is no 'Zero Sector of the Hard Disk'. That's what betrays it totally and undermines everything that went on above it.
Now circulate the link to this blog post to at least sixteen million people, or two mother bears will crawl out of the undergrowth and maul forty-two of your friends and family. Don't mock the baldness, people.
Pisces out.
The chainmail in question was one that was sent to me by our very own Rinrei. Perhaps she can learn to be less compliant with her friend's friend's friend's wishes to create a lovely big chainmail that goes round and round and round. It's like a wheel, but less funky.
This chainmail detailed a 'virus' that was likely to circulate the globe in a few days time. The warning looked a lot like the one you see below, because I actually cut and pasted it from the email. Heheh. Why make a clever fake when you can just have the original?
First comes the not-so-subtle ploy to make you pass it on, then follows the actual 'warning'.
PLEASE CIRCULATE THIS NOTICE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ON YOUR CONTACT LIST.
In the coming days, you should be aware…
Do not open any message with an attachment called:"Invitation FACEBOOK", regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic torch that burns the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone you had in your address book. That's why you should send this message to all your contacts. It is better to receive this email 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive E-MAIL called: "Invitation FACEBOOK", though sent by a friend, do not open it and delete it immediately. CNN said it is a new virus discovered recently and that has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. It is a Trojan Horse that asks you to install an adobe flash plug-in. Once you install it, it's all over. And there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information of their function is saved.
Okay, so there are several clues here that this just isn't true. First of all there's that beginning message. What chainmail doesn't say 'circulate to friends and family'? It's the whole purpose of its existence.
Second, 'Olympic torch'? Yeah, very subtle. You can't open an Olympic torch on a computer. Especially if it's going to 'burn' your hard drive. Wow. That's just so amazingly coy and brilliant... Not.
Another thing is that I've never heard of CNN actually telling the truth. The same goes for Microsoft - and since when did they do classification of viruses, hm? CNN hasn't said a thing worth saying since they mixed up Obama and Osama bin Laden. That wound up as a clip on 'Have I Got News For You'. Hilarious.
Next, why would you need an Adobe Flash plug-in to do anything remotely connected to Facebook? It's completely unnecessary. If I were dumb enough to open an email entitled 'Invitation FACEBOOK' (note the capitals, people) then I certainly wouldn't be installing a Flash plug-in.
Finally (and perhaps the most blatant error of all), there is no 'Zero Sector of the Hard Disk'. That's what betrays it totally and undermines everything that went on above it.
Now circulate the link to this blog post to at least sixteen million people, or two mother bears will crawl out of the undergrowth and maul forty-two of your friends and family. Don't mock the baldness, people.
Pisces out.
Thursday 12 July 2012
Lemon Fingers
You know what's really annoying? Having lemon juice-coated fingers.
It's irritating when, in restaurants, the chef gives you a too-thick slice of lemon to squeeze over your fish. It means that you end up getting citrus flesh and zest under your fingernails, and that's just not nice. Especially when you eat a chocolate bar later on using those same fingers.
There are no pros to having lemony digits, only cons. For a start, the above. When you eat something with your hands later (e.g. crisps, other fruit, food of a finger-ish nature) it has a sour tang. That isn't nice when you're eating something that really shouldn't be sour.
Secondly, if you rub your eye because perhaps you have new contact lenses or some sort of hayfever (this time in the year? Get that checked), you suddenly realise that it's not such a good idea as your eyeball catches fire. Trust me when I say that it's not nice. And then your eye is smarting for ten minutes in an effort to put out the fire in your eye jelly, and that is also not cool. Especially when you're trying to watch a film and people think you're crying. That's not good, especially when the film is something like Spiderman.
Thirdly, it makes your fingers sticky. Sticky fingers just aren't good. It makes everything you touch sticky and it's impossible to clean off without some form of really, really strong cleaner. And that's not great either, because it stinks and is poisonous. When you have a dog that eats door handles, that isn't good.
Thank goodness I didn't get lemony fingers at dinner. (Well, I didn't say that I have new contacts, have seen Spiderman, or have a dog that eats doorhandles, now did I?)
Pisces out.
It's irritating when, in restaurants, the chef gives you a too-thick slice of lemon to squeeze over your fish. It means that you end up getting citrus flesh and zest under your fingernails, and that's just not nice. Especially when you eat a chocolate bar later on using those same fingers.
There are no pros to having lemony digits, only cons. For a start, the above. When you eat something with your hands later (e.g. crisps, other fruit, food of a finger-ish nature) it has a sour tang. That isn't nice when you're eating something that really shouldn't be sour.
Secondly, if you rub your eye because perhaps you have new contact lenses or some sort of hayfever (this time in the year? Get that checked), you suddenly realise that it's not such a good idea as your eyeball catches fire. Trust me when I say that it's not nice. And then your eye is smarting for ten minutes in an effort to put out the fire in your eye jelly, and that is also not cool. Especially when you're trying to watch a film and people think you're crying. That's not good, especially when the film is something like Spiderman.
Thirdly, it makes your fingers sticky. Sticky fingers just aren't good. It makes everything you touch sticky and it's impossible to clean off without some form of really, really strong cleaner. And that's not great either, because it stinks and is poisonous. When you have a dog that eats door handles, that isn't good.
Thank goodness I didn't get lemony fingers at dinner. (Well, I didn't say that I have new contacts, have seen Spiderman, or have a dog that eats doorhandles, now did I?)
Pisces out.
This is Brilliant - This is a Book by Demetri Martin, a Book Review
‘This is a Book’ by Demetri Martin is a wonderful, inventive and incredibly random book showcasing some of the author’s excellent comedy.
I ordered this book after seeing that it wasn’t a novel, wasn’t non-fiction and didn’t seem like anything else that I have on my bookshelf at present. I’m glad that I chose this book – it’s an excellent, easy-to-read book full of wit and charm. Each chapter focuses on something different, and no two chapters are the same (excluding ‘More Drawings’, an extension of ‘Some Drawings’). Some are short stories; others are scripts for skits and sketches; yet more are simply charming drawings and representations with witty annotations and captions. This is a book that you can flick through, choose a chapter and read without bothering about continuity – in this book, there’s no such thing as continuity. Nothing connects to anything else. This apparent anarchy suits the book perfectly. It means that once you’ve finished reading one section, you can be assured of something completely different to follow it.
Although pretty much everything here is excellent, there are some chapters that really stick out as truly wonderful. My personal favourite was the chapter entitled ‘Robot Test’, which took form as a fake quiz. That truly was excellent. Other highlights include ‘Sheila’, a bittersweet ghost/love story (you can tell that I took that bit from the blurb; guilty as charged), ‘We’re Pregnant’, ‘Cat Calendar’ and ‘Epigrams, Fragments & Light Verse’.
In short, this book is a madhouse of brilliance – funny and charming with an edge of insanity added to it. It’s an excellent read. Whatever your taste in humour (assuming you aren’t a wrinkly old man with no love for the world), you’ll find something to tickle your funny bone in here. Buy it quick, read it fast – and chuckle yourself to sleep at night with thoughts of this genius book.
Rating: 8/10
This review was taken from Penguin Book's 'Spinebreakers' website, where the author goes by a slightly different name. To view the original review, click here. For more information on Spinebreakers and how to become one, click here.
 |
| One of several covers used in different editions of the book. |
Although pretty much everything here is excellent, there are some chapters that really stick out as truly wonderful. My personal favourite was the chapter entitled ‘Robot Test’, which took form as a fake quiz. That truly was excellent. Other highlights include ‘Sheila’, a bittersweet ghost/love story (you can tell that I took that bit from the blurb; guilty as charged), ‘We’re Pregnant’, ‘Cat Calendar’ and ‘Epigrams, Fragments & Light Verse’.
In short, this book is a madhouse of brilliance – funny and charming with an edge of insanity added to it. It’s an excellent read. Whatever your taste in humour (assuming you aren’t a wrinkly old man with no love for the world), you’ll find something to tickle your funny bone in here. Buy it quick, read it fast – and chuckle yourself to sleep at night with thoughts of this genius book.
Rating: 8/10
This review was taken from Penguin Book's 'Spinebreakers' website, where the author goes by a slightly different name. To view the original review, click here. For more information on Spinebreakers and how to become one, click here.
Splitting Personalities
Well, I believe I have just gone officially insane.
You think?
He does, just not all that often. Less than he might like to, uh... OK, stalemated myself there.
Quiet. I'm trying to talk to folk. Pipe down; behave.
Unlikely. We're splinters of your consciousness; we aren't going to go away with a click of the-
*Click* You were saying?
Well, as I was trying to say before these two tried to take over my brain, I've just gone officially mad. It seems that my mind's split into two in a way comparable with mytosis. And then that segment has split, so now I'm left with three conscious beings living in the one head. Lovely.
Of course, the other two are just splinters of myself, as Italic-man up there put it. Therefore I have control of them and they're really just slight amplified parts of me that are somewhat smaller in power and influence. It's still annoying. It's like trying to control three-year-olds... Or perhaps be controlled by three-year-olds.
That's unfair. We're not three years old!
Technically speaking, we're as old as you are. We share your memories.
That's only technically speaking. Realistically speaking, you're around three weeks of age. That was when it pretty much started, no?
Yeah. I wonder what happened specifically three to four weeks ago that could have cause half your mind to go AWOL.
Shut up. That had nothing to do with it.
So the weird dreams about the fish have nothing to do with that?
Not in the slightest. I continue to tell you that I have no irrational fears of fish statues!
We are you. We know your fears. But yeah, you're right - fish statues isn't one of them. How about-
Enough!
So, as you may be able to see, I have a problem. Two problems. And one of them has decided to embolden itself while the other has decided that italics are better. Wonderful. Now I can't use italics without shifting personalities. Isn't that a bummer?
Hey, brother - what would you do if I started talking gibberish?
You mean that you don't already do that?
On second thoughts - or rather first, second and third thoughts - maybe they'll self destruct before they have the chance to actually cage my mind. Time shall be really annoying, 'cos nothing's gonna get better.
I second that.
*Sigh.*
You think?
He does, just not all that often. Less than he might like to, uh... OK, stalemated myself there.
Quiet. I'm trying to talk to folk. Pipe down; behave.
Unlikely. We're splinters of your consciousness; we aren't going to go away with a click of the-
*Click* You were saying?
Well, as I was trying to say before these two tried to take over my brain, I've just gone officially mad. It seems that my mind's split into two in a way comparable with mytosis. And then that segment has split, so now I'm left with three conscious beings living in the one head. Lovely.
Of course, the other two are just splinters of myself, as Italic-man up there put it. Therefore I have control of them and they're really just slight amplified parts of me that are somewhat smaller in power and influence. It's still annoying. It's like trying to control three-year-olds... Or perhaps be controlled by three-year-olds.
That's unfair. We're not three years old!
Technically speaking, we're as old as you are. We share your memories.
That's only technically speaking. Realistically speaking, you're around three weeks of age. That was when it pretty much started, no?
Yeah. I wonder what happened specifically three to four weeks ago that could have cause half your mind to go AWOL.
Shut up. That had nothing to do with it.
So the weird dreams about the fish have nothing to do with that?
Not in the slightest. I continue to tell you that I have no irrational fears of fish statues!
We are you. We know your fears. But yeah, you're right - fish statues isn't one of them. How about-
Enough!
So, as you may be able to see, I have a problem. Two problems. And one of them has decided to embolden itself while the other has decided that italics are better. Wonderful. Now I can't use italics without shifting personalities. Isn't that a bummer?
Hey, brother - what would you do if I started talking gibberish?
You mean that you don't already do that?
On second thoughts - or rather first, second and third thoughts - maybe they'll self destruct before they have the chance to actually cage my mind. Time shall be really annoying, 'cos nothing's gonna get better.
I second that.
*Sigh.*
Battle Music!
Well, I decided that today I would do all the things I slacked off on. Now, this was a big list of things. Allow me to elaborate:
Naturally, being as stubborn as I am, I pursued this task and you know what helped me get through it? Background music. I played as many battle songs as I could on a stereo I found in my mum's room and rampaged through all my work.
Of course, I'm not finished, but I sure am getting a lot of work done by my usual standards. It just goes to show that battle music helps you complete any task.
Signing off while the music is still going!
Rinrei
N.B. The other guy's name is Gish. Gish, I say!
Professor out.
- Finish a digital comic page of 'Future Talk' (on the next page)
- Finish an entire page of 'Story of the Century' (about to be coloured)
- Redo drafts of Tarrow and... the other guy (Tarrow is done, Gish is next)
- Do roughly seven detailed drawings for Skald's 'The Pyromancer's Revenge' (two pictures done, third in progress)
- Edit out an entire chapter of Billy's story (done)
- Start work on the next chapter of 'Abide in the Wind' (le complete)
- Next chapter of 'How not to write a Kuroshitsuji Fan-fiction' (done)
Naturally, being as stubborn as I am, I pursued this task and you know what helped me get through it? Background music. I played as many battle songs as I could on a stereo I found in my mum's room and rampaged through all my work.
Of course, I'm not finished, but I sure am getting a lot of work done by my usual standards. It just goes to show that battle music helps you complete any task.
Signing off while the music is still going!
Rinrei
N.B. The other guy's name is Gish. Gish, I say!
Professor out.
Wednesday 11 July 2012
Iron Maiden
This post is not about the torture device. You want torture, you go elsewhere. As much as I'd love to talk about poking holes in somebody with a coffin, it's just not gonna happen on a family-friendly blog. Sorry.
It's long been disputed what my actual taste in music is. When I tell people the truth, they burst out laughing and ask if I'm serious. Obviously they don't realise that I am always serious. It's how I get my kicks. So this is me, being serious and telling you exactly what I like in music.
The question "What sort of music do you listen to?" can be answered in three ways, both equally shocking considering my placid and all too often cold nature. Two words: Heavy Metal. Yeah, the Professor's into his metal, man. He's a hard-rockin' legend with his six string, tearing up the fretboard with lightning fast riffs and bursting eardrums with his screaming lyrics. (Not really. I'd like to be, and I do occasionally fly off the wall with some pretty funky riffs on that dear old Ibanez, but just no to the screaming lyrics. Just no.) It usually surprises people even more when they learn that I play the electric guitar. Yeah, that is the truth, that is.
The second of three ways is: Avenged Sevenfold. This band, for those without knowledge, has the heaviest sound of all artists I've ever heard, utilises screaming vocals from time to time and perhas has the speediest drummer of all time. They also seem to be in love with bad language and those little 'parental guidance' markings that adorn the covers of pretty much every album they ever produced.
The third and best way for me to answer is with a final two words: Iron Maiden.
Simply the best band ever to happen since the creation of the guitar, they've released fifteen studio albums under three different singers (Paul Di'Anno, Bruce Dickinson and Blayze Bailey), reformed with Bruce Dickinson (the best of the three) and done countless tours. I like them because the lyrics are good, they don't scream and the rock they produce with those three guitars, bass and drum kit are just the bomb. But I also like their album covers, which Dragon seems to think are 'scary'. Look below and try to tell me that that's scary.
Iron Maiden fans (myself included) are always on the lookout for the next Maiden album, but I personally am more on the lookout for the next super-strange album cover that it is set to posess. Iron Maiden have long been into keeping a mascot, and in their case the mascot is none other than Eddie the Head, an unusually unsual (barely) humanoid figure that continues to strike fear into the heart of viewers even now. Over the years, he's changed a lot but remained recognisable. The above example (nicknamed 'Space Eddie', and he is the incarnation that has deviated most from the path of the True Eddie the Head) is by no means the weirdest. If any Eddie were to be classed as 'strangest', it would be that from the cover of the album 'Piece of Mind', which bore a crazed Eddie wrapped up in chains and what looks to be the remains of a straightjacket.
However, Maiden isn't about Eddie the Head. It's about great music and incredible, searing guitar solos that manage to occur without time actually having to slow down that much. And it's about many, many years of bad hairstyles and even worse clothes. But I digress.
I know for a fact that Bill's a pretty big Iron Maiden fan, but not as big as me. I have a poster of Eddie the Head on my wall and I can sleep at night. That makes me a big Maiden fan. (Bill, I dare you to dispute me.) There's no doubting that Iron Maiden have made a major contribution to British Heavy Metal and music culture over the years. Hopefully, they'll continue to exert an influence over it for a while yet. Maybe, just maybe, they'll release a few more studio albums while they're at it.
It's long been disputed what my actual taste in music is. When I tell people the truth, they burst out laughing and ask if I'm serious. Obviously they don't realise that I am always serious. It's how I get my kicks. So this is me, being serious and telling you exactly what I like in music.
The question "What sort of music do you listen to?" can be answered in three ways, both equally shocking considering my placid and all too often cold nature. Two words: Heavy Metal. Yeah, the Professor's into his metal, man. He's a hard-rockin' legend with his six string, tearing up the fretboard with lightning fast riffs and bursting eardrums with his screaming lyrics. (Not really. I'd like to be, and I do occasionally fly off the wall with some pretty funky riffs on that dear old Ibanez, but just no to the screaming lyrics. Just no.) It usually surprises people even more when they learn that I play the electric guitar. Yeah, that is the truth, that is.
The second of three ways is: Avenged Sevenfold. This band, for those without knowledge, has the heaviest sound of all artists I've ever heard, utilises screaming vocals from time to time and perhas has the speediest drummer of all time. They also seem to be in love with bad language and those little 'parental guidance' markings that adorn the covers of pretty much every album they ever produced.
The third and best way for me to answer is with a final two words: Iron Maiden.
Simply the best band ever to happen since the creation of the guitar, they've released fifteen studio albums under three different singers (Paul Di'Anno, Bruce Dickinson and Blayze Bailey), reformed with Bruce Dickinson (the best of the three) and done countless tours. I like them because the lyrics are good, they don't scream and the rock they produce with those three guitars, bass and drum kit are just the bomb. But I also like their album covers, which Dragon seems to think are 'scary'. Look below and try to tell me that that's scary.
 |
| That's the album cover from 'The Final Frontier', Maiden's 15th studio release. Just sayin'. |
However, Maiden isn't about Eddie the Head. It's about great music and incredible, searing guitar solos that manage to occur without time actually having to slow down that much. And it's about many, many years of bad hairstyles and even worse clothes. But I digress.
I know for a fact that Bill's a pretty big Iron Maiden fan, but not as big as me. I have a poster of Eddie the Head on my wall and I can sleep at night. That makes me a big Maiden fan. (Bill, I dare you to dispute me.) There's no doubting that Iron Maiden have made a major contribution to British Heavy Metal and music culture over the years. Hopefully, they'll continue to exert an influence over it for a while yet. Maybe, just maybe, they'll release a few more studio albums while they're at it.
Oh Yeah, Like A Boss!
I'm sorry, but I can no longer contain my excitement otherwise my body would explode (and I don't want blood on my screen). You know when I said I got a job as an online cleaner (and the Editor hinted at it being easy)? Yeah, that chapter that drove me to near madness is up now!
http://www.webtoonlive.com/webtoon/Abide%20in%20the%20Wind/ch2/
I cleaned that! I got rid of all the SFX, speech and even helped with the translations! You have no idea how proud I feel about having that chapter finally uploaded for all to see knowing that I actually helped create it.
I have the right to take pride in that! (Editor, if you say anything I will take this nail-file and lodge it into your eye.) Well, now I have a week to recover before I start working on the next chapter, but I must say, I take real pride in this and the experience was well worth it. I'm even using my new skills to help create better pages for my own work.
Well, with my sanity almost completely gone, I'm off to watch some Ghost Adventures. They also happen to be in a mental asylum.
Goldfish!
Rinrei
EDIT: I've come to the conclusion that I am officially insane, as I've already started cleaning chapter three even though I'm supposed to be taking a break. Oh me...
http://www.webtoonlive.com/webtoon/Abide%20in%20the%20Wind/ch2/
I cleaned that! I got rid of all the SFX, speech and even helped with the translations! You have no idea how proud I feel about having that chapter finally uploaded for all to see knowing that I actually helped create it.
I have the right to take pride in that! (Editor, if you say anything I will take this nail-file and lodge it into your eye.) Well, now I have a week to recover before I start working on the next chapter, but I must say, I take real pride in this and the experience was well worth it. I'm even using my new skills to help create better pages for my own work.
Well, with my sanity almost completely gone, I'm off to watch some Ghost Adventures. They also happen to be in a mental asylum.
Goldfish!
Rinrei
EDIT: I've come to the conclusion that I am officially insane, as I've already started cleaning chapter three even though I'm supposed to be taking a break. Oh me...
Tuesday 10 July 2012
Coffee and Paperwork
Well, I said that I'd got a job as a translator and cleaner (cleaners get rid of all the text and SFX on a piece of work) and let me tell you, coffee is perfect for stress relief.
I have to clean an entire chapter (about 32 pages) every week in order to get it to the official translators as well as the typewriter and the editors. (Note from The Editor: I suggest you don't diss your superiors if you want to keep your job. Just sayin'.)(Rinrei: They call themselves Grammar Nazi so all is good) If you ever look at raws of any manga or cartoons you'll realize that this is no easy task.
It was especially difficult for me because not only was there a lot of SFX, it was in front of stuff. So as well as cleaning up pages, I basically had to re-draw them, which is extremely stressful when you have a computer like mine which is so old it runs on coal.
It was because of this old-fashioned computer that three pages ultimately blew up and I was left among the debris begging one of the editors to help me. That's another job the editors do, they clean up the cleaner's mess (wow, that was a bad joke).
Anyway, since I started on Thursday, I've been working until I can't hold a cup of coffee still (which is bad considering I need it to keep me alive). I forced myself to sit still until I could move properly again.
In order to keep me alive, I've been playing music in the background and have at least three cups of coffee a day. Today I learned that coffee hardens the arteries. If that's the case then my arteries must be made of concrete by now.
Anyway, that's one chapter down, only 29 more to go (and the series is still going on), but I like knowing what happens next and if being a translator and dealing with cloned editors solves that, then so be it. This is the life of an unemployed online translator. Mind you... I've been getting a lot of messages asking me to be a paid one... (Maybe I can pretend I'm 20 and get away with it.) (Note from The Editor: Sly, Rinrei. Smooth.)
Anyway, with a brief break arriving for now, I'm signing off and watching horror shows online.
SIGNING OFF!
Rinrei
I have to clean an entire chapter (about 32 pages) every week in order to get it to the official translators as well as the typewriter and the editors. (Note from The Editor: I suggest you don't diss your superiors if you want to keep your job. Just sayin'.)(Rinrei: They call themselves Grammar Nazi so all is good) If you ever look at raws of any manga or cartoons you'll realize that this is no easy task.
It was especially difficult for me because not only was there a lot of SFX, it was in front of stuff. So as well as cleaning up pages, I basically had to re-draw them, which is extremely stressful when you have a computer like mine which is so old it runs on coal.
It was because of this old-fashioned computer that three pages ultimately blew up and I was left among the debris begging one of the editors to help me. That's another job the editors do, they clean up the cleaner's mess (wow, that was a bad joke).
Anyway, since I started on Thursday, I've been working until I can't hold a cup of coffee still (which is bad considering I need it to keep me alive). I forced myself to sit still until I could move properly again.
In order to keep me alive, I've been playing music in the background and have at least three cups of coffee a day. Today I learned that coffee hardens the arteries. If that's the case then my arteries must be made of concrete by now.
Anyway, that's one chapter down, only 29 more to go (and the series is still going on), but I like knowing what happens next and if being a translator and dealing with cloned editors solves that, then so be it. This is the life of an unemployed online translator. Mind you... I've been getting a lot of messages asking me to be a paid one... (Maybe I can pretend I'm 20 and get away with it.) (Note from The Editor: Sly, Rinrei. Smooth.)
Anyway, with a brief break arriving for now, I'm signing off and watching horror shows online.
SIGNING OFF!
Rinrei
Sunday 8 July 2012
Practicing Translation
アフタヌーングッド！またはこんばんは！あなたがどこにあるかに依存しています。
私はここに私の日本語の文章能力を練習しています（私はあなたがGoogleでこれを翻訳しようとお勧めしません）と私は言わなければならない、私はいつでも英語を好む。
あなたはそれが別の言語に翻訳することがいかに難しいかわかってくれますか？あなたは、単一の語句のうち複数の翻訳を持つことができます。
でも、エディタでは、これの適切な翻訳を取得することは複雑かもしれませんが、それはGoogleを使ってから彼を停止することはありません。
まあ、それは私が被写体に言っているだけです。私は今、効果音との対話のページをクリアする必要があります。
さようなら、あなたは適切ないまいましく変換を馬鹿としている可能性があります。
Signing off!
Rinrei
P.S: Just as I warned you in the note above, please don't attempt to use google for this one, use a different one. In fact, use numerous translators and see how many translations you get. That's why it's difficult to do my job, I can get millions of translations out of a single phrase. (I also said this in the note above. That might help you get the right translation.) I'm proud to say the Editor hasn't re-translated it. Good, our Japanese people need something to read. On another note, try watching the whole of this without laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QhavUH4JJM&feature=g-u-u
Saturday 7 July 2012
Why, brain, why?
Right. So it is currently the holidays. As obligated, I have had very little sleep thus far, usually switching everything off at around 1am. But, last night, I figured I should sort something out. So I tried to get to sleep early, but only ended up falling asleep at around midnight. At this point, my brain starts to think, "Wow, this is awfully early."
I then proceed to wake up at 4:30am. And that is not a typo.
Sorry for the short post, but I'm trying to kill time, but still manage to stay abominably lazy. I have a reputation to keep up.
I then proceed to wake up at 4:30am. And that is not a typo.
Sorry for the short post, but I'm trying to kill time, but still manage to stay abominably lazy. I have a reputation to keep up.
Friday 6 July 2012
Wimbledon!
Well, this year's tennis grand slam has made for some very, very good television. I've been following Wimbledon quite closely this year - at least, I have been since the fourth round. And boy, have there been some close matches.
So now Andy Murray's through to the finals, and he's up against Federer. Personally, I'm rooting for Murray. Well, I have to be patriotic in some way or other. I don't like bagpipes, I hate tartan and thistles prickle me something ugly, so I'm generally classed as an unpatriotic person by those who class people that way. But I do support Scotland (and its people) in sport, which is ironic, because I hate organised sport in general. That's a lie; I hate football. But that's (literally) an entirely different ball game. Heheh.
Murray played an excellent match against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga today, and I'm glad to say that Tsonga gave him a run for his money. But I'll not go into the details; statistics and numbers are pretty boring when it boils down to it. The main thing is that Murray's through to the finals and he's gonna get completely pulped by Roger Federer, an all-round amazing tennis player who just thrashed the number one seed, Djokovic (first name unknown and unspellable). Should make for a good match, we hope. But if wishes were fishes we'd all cast nets. At least Murray's guaranteed a prize if my less than optimistic prediction turns out to be correct.
Watching screens with unusual intensity, this is Pisces signing out.
So now Andy Murray's through to the finals, and he's up against Federer. Personally, I'm rooting for Murray. Well, I have to be patriotic in some way or other. I don't like bagpipes, I hate tartan and thistles prickle me something ugly, so I'm generally classed as an unpatriotic person by those who class people that way. But I do support Scotland (and its people) in sport, which is ironic, because I hate organised sport in general. That's a lie; I hate football. But that's (literally) an entirely different ball game. Heheh.
Murray played an excellent match against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga today, and I'm glad to say that Tsonga gave him a run for his money. But I'll not go into the details; statistics and numbers are pretty boring when it boils down to it. The main thing is that Murray's through to the finals and he's gonna get completely pulped by Roger Federer, an all-round amazing tennis player who just thrashed the number one seed, Djokovic (first name unknown and unspellable). Should make for a good match, we hope. But if wishes were fishes we'd all cast nets. At least Murray's guaranteed a prize if my less than optimistic prediction turns out to be correct.
Watching screens with unusual intensity, this is Pisces signing out.
Warring with Words
You can take what you like from that title, because although this post is about the fabled 'word wars', it has nothing to do with insults nor actual battle. Now that that's out the way, I can get on with this post.
It was yesterday when I realised that I had only written something in the order of 500 words in the last five days. Groaning into myself, I was overcome with wordy guilt. I hadn't had a week that bad since the Great Exodus to (Nameless, Hateful Island) in the Easter holidays. Needless to say, I felt a great need to remedy this. After realising that the problem lay with inspiration rather than anything else - distractions, lack of time etc. - I set about finding a way to get on with writing.
Often when you hit a barrier with writing, you just have to buck up and soldier on through it. (Remember that book 'Going on a Bear Hunt' (assuming that that's the title)? It's like that.) Either that, or you kill off the character giving you grief and roll on over their dead body. This was a case where the former was preferable, mainly because I couldn't kill her yet due to problems with a time continuum (curse you, time travel). However, I had a severe lack of actual motive, and so sat there looking like an idiot for a good few hours. Until...
Bing. You have a *NEW* message. As opposed to an old one, of course.
Who else but Dan Johnson! Despite a six hour time difference, he was up and running, raring to have what he called a 'word war'. Asking him to elaborate, he explained that a word war is basically a time window in which a group of writers write as much as is humanly possible that makes sense to their story, novel or script. The winner is the one with the most words or pages at the end. Simple, hm? That's what I thought. So it was that I found the way out of my rut.
We warred for around 45 minutes, and in that time I wrote something like 780 words, which is a pittance, because he managed to write 1350 (or thereabouts). Feeling not too dejected, I realised I had actual climbed out of my rut and fallen off of the face of the Earth, tumbling into an abyss of weirdness and utterly wonderful stuff. So now I have a veritable treasure trove of ideas, plus a place to put them. And now I'm happy.
The moral of the story is: if you're gonna write a novel, try and write sections all in one session, otherwise you lose your train of thought and get caught up in something else. It's taken me at least a week to get through this one chapter. So don't do what I did; instead, set aside some time and write when you're inspired. That's a bit of a, uh, contradiction, but still. If that made any sense, go with it. If it didn't, ignore it.
Off to novel around some more,
Professor Pisces
It was yesterday when I realised that I had only written something in the order of 500 words in the last five days. Groaning into myself, I was overcome with wordy guilt. I hadn't had a week that bad since the Great Exodus to (Nameless, Hateful Island) in the Easter holidays. Needless to say, I felt a great need to remedy this. After realising that the problem lay with inspiration rather than anything else - distractions, lack of time etc. - I set about finding a way to get on with writing.
Often when you hit a barrier with writing, you just have to buck up and soldier on through it. (Remember that book 'Going on a Bear Hunt' (assuming that that's the title)? It's like that.) Either that, or you kill off the character giving you grief and roll on over their dead body. This was a case where the former was preferable, mainly because I couldn't kill her yet due to problems with a time continuum (curse you, time travel). However, I had a severe lack of actual motive, and so sat there looking like an idiot for a good few hours. Until...
Bing. You have a *NEW* message. As opposed to an old one, of course.
Who else but Dan Johnson! Despite a six hour time difference, he was up and running, raring to have what he called a 'word war'. Asking him to elaborate, he explained that a word war is basically a time window in which a group of writers write as much as is humanly possible that makes sense to their story, novel or script. The winner is the one with the most words or pages at the end. Simple, hm? That's what I thought. So it was that I found the way out of my rut.
We warred for around 45 minutes, and in that time I wrote something like 780 words, which is a pittance, because he managed to write 1350 (or thereabouts). Feeling not too dejected, I realised I had actual climbed out of my rut and fallen off of the face of the Earth, tumbling into an abyss of weirdness and utterly wonderful stuff. So now I have a veritable treasure trove of ideas, plus a place to put them. And now I'm happy.
The moral of the story is: if you're gonna write a novel, try and write sections all in one session, otherwise you lose your train of thought and get caught up in something else. It's taken me at least a week to get through this one chapter. So don't do what I did; instead, set aside some time and write when you're inspired. That's a bit of a, uh, contradiction, but still. If that made any sense, go with it. If it didn't, ignore it.
Off to novel around some more,
Professor Pisces
Translator Job People!
Today I got a message from Webtoon Live in which I did one of the all-too-famous fan girl screams that I have never used before.
Webtoon Live is all about translating internet cartoons from all around the world and posting them so that people can read them in English (even though they do post English ones too). I should warn you now that people DO get paid to draw certain Webtoons, so you can't go saying that translating them is stupid. (Note from Rinrei: In which I shall now burn the Editor's comment. Some people do actually get paid to write online. Just not us since Pisces is broke.) How could Professor Pisces have read 'Battle Royale' without it being translated? He understands no Japanese and has no intention of ever learning it. He would have never have gotten such a great book if it wasn't for the translator - well, that and Skald.
A lot of good books have been translated into English for us to read, and that's why the world needs translators.
Anyway, today I got an e-mail message from Webtoon Live, of which I am a proud member, saying that they would like me to be a translator and trimmer for any internet cartoons they passed onto me. Naturally, I collapsed on the ground with joy and ultimately died.
Since I am already dead, I came back to life and replied, without hesitation, that I would be happy to help. It just goes to show, if you're ambitious and incredibly ignorant of how annoying you can be (although I only messaged them once with the request so I wasn't really being annoying) you can get that job.
Well, with that out the way, time to practice my Korean.
을 받아들였다!
Rinrei
Webtoon Live is all about translating internet cartoons from all around the world and posting them so that people can read them in English (even though they do post English ones too). I should warn you now that people DO get paid to draw certain Webtoons, so you can't go saying that translating them is stupid. (Note from Rinrei: In which I shall now burn the Editor's comment. Some people do actually get paid to write online. Just not us since Pisces is broke.) How could Professor Pisces have read 'Battle Royale' without it being translated? He understands no Japanese and has no intention of ever learning it. He would have never have gotten such a great book if it wasn't for the translator - well, that and Skald.
A lot of good books have been translated into English for us to read, and that's why the world needs translators.
Anyway, today I got an e-mail message from Webtoon Live, of which I am a proud member, saying that they would like me to be a translator and trimmer for any internet cartoons they passed onto me. Naturally, I collapsed on the ground with joy and ultimately died.
Since I am already dead, I came back to life and replied, without hesitation, that I would be happy to help. It just goes to show, if you're ambitious and incredibly ignorant of how annoying you can be (although I only messaged them once with the request so I wasn't really being annoying) you can get that job.
Well, with that out the way, time to practice my Korean.
을 받아들였다!
Rinrei
Wednesday 4 July 2012
Writing to Maintain Sanity
Let it not be said that I have no sanity and that I be insane, for true it is not. There are times when my senses take leave of me and escape to some dark corner of the ethereal, but never before has it resulted in anything unnecessarily strange. But what is the secret to my sanity, you may ask, when I am much renowned for thinking some rather insane thoughts? Allow me to inform you.
I am well known amongst those who know me for my incessant writing. I even write upon the tables at times, and in the air when the fancy seizes me. I am perhaps less known for what I do write - fiction, mostly, and strange fiction at that. The late HP Lovecraft was an author of what is known as 'Weird Fiction'. That was strange indeed, and I cannot hope to compare with this genius of his time. I'm not entirely sure as to why I brought him up; he is of little consequence.
Often I write some unusual stuff in which at least one character suffers some form of calamity or other, whether that be the loss of her fingers or her life. Both have occurred, the latter more so than the former. Often when I write, I write these strange things in an attempt to petrify them so that they flourish in my mind no longer - I write so that they may be trapped in paper and ink; in this way they may not break into reality. What I am saying is that I get rid of what's on my mind by putting it down on paper. Often the thing that bothers me is burned to the ground alongside the house in which I confined a particularly hateful character. This is how I deal with problems, quite often: immortalise their deaths in a... creative fashion, let us say. And it is one that may well bring me money one day.
So perhaps now you realise that I maintain my sanity quite carefully, and that blogs, scripts and novels such as those I am working upon now work to inhibit certain curiosities of the mind. Then again, perhaps you do not, and I have simply outlined that I am a dangerous individual - which I am not - and that I have an unstable personality, which is most likely untrue. I leave it to you to decide, but I know myself - I'm not insane. I think.
Well that was certainly creepy, insightful and perhaps scary. I'll be seeing you around. Maybe.
Regards,
Pisces
I am well known amongst those who know me for my incessant writing. I even write upon the tables at times, and in the air when the fancy seizes me. I am perhaps less known for what I do write - fiction, mostly, and strange fiction at that. The late HP Lovecraft was an author of what is known as 'Weird Fiction'. That was strange indeed, and I cannot hope to compare with this genius of his time. I'm not entirely sure as to why I brought him up; he is of little consequence.
Often I write some unusual stuff in which at least one character suffers some form of calamity or other, whether that be the loss of her fingers or her life. Both have occurred, the latter more so than the former. Often when I write, I write these strange things in an attempt to petrify them so that they flourish in my mind no longer - I write so that they may be trapped in paper and ink; in this way they may not break into reality. What I am saying is that I get rid of what's on my mind by putting it down on paper. Often the thing that bothers me is burned to the ground alongside the house in which I confined a particularly hateful character. This is how I deal with problems, quite often: immortalise their deaths in a... creative fashion, let us say. And it is one that may well bring me money one day.
So perhaps now you realise that I maintain my sanity quite carefully, and that blogs, scripts and novels such as those I am working upon now work to inhibit certain curiosities of the mind. Then again, perhaps you do not, and I have simply outlined that I am a dangerous individual - which I am not - and that I have an unstable personality, which is most likely untrue. I leave it to you to decide, but I know myself - I'm not insane. I think.
Well that was certainly creepy, insightful and perhaps scary. I'll be seeing you around. Maybe.
Regards,
Pisces
When One is Bored
Being who I am, I get bored easily and I have no intention of changing this state (because it involves effort). Today was one of those days when I just wandered around the house doing nothing much, rummaging through the cupboards (you'd be amazed at what strange creatures you'd find in there; we now have a mouse called Charles), when I came to discover something interesting (this was after I gave up looking for equipment to turn my brother into a zombie, that will be for another time).
Indeed, a lovely friend of mine, who prefers to go by the name of Grelle, demanded that I get a Tumblr account. She had been threatening me with pictures that psychologically disturb most sane (and insane) individuals. After being pushed to the limit, I kicked over a nearby table and threw a giant lump of clay at the nearest wall (except I didn't) and searched for this 'Tumblr'. I had no idea that I already had one. When did this happen?! How come I don't remember!? Who wiped my memory!? All these questions ran through my mind (along with random ones like: Does 3+3 equal poptart?) as I looked through my Tumblr account. I questioned my friend, threatened her with the nearest object (which happened to be a sausage roll) and found out I made a blog long ago.
It should be more concerning that it was Xiaolin Showdown that got me to find this Tumblr account, because the truth is that I was never pushed to the limit (if I was, everyone would be dead) and I just goofed off after hearing that Xiaolin Showdown was making a new series. Naturally, I posted about it on the post. And for once, everything written in this post is true. Except it isn't. The dog never turned around to stare at me because she was asleep in the living room. This is what I wrote:
Well, I was in one of those moods where I wanted to read the profile of the creator of Xiaolin Showdown. There was no reason to it, I just suddenly burst out with: I MUST GO READ PROFILES! Because I’m awesome like that.
In the end, I was clutching at my face with me making exaggerated and generally insane gestures before falling to the ground and ultimately dying. Good news is that I came back to life upon discovering that someone created a profile here in which Chase Young would answer questions. It was so funny I fell to the ground and died again.
They’re an awesome drawer too. A drawer in both ways. All hail the drawer. Well, with my sanity well and truly gone with my inability to find the trailer I so desperately crave, I’m off to go kill some raging dragons. You see, we have tons of them up here in Northern Scotland. It’s why our cows are always running away. Damn dragons messing with our cows. (Grumble, grumble.)
Signing off!
Rinrei
When You're Up Late, Strange Things Occur
Late last night, I retired to my room to find myself affected by an acute attack of insomnia. This supposed attack of insomnia was not so much medical nor mental as by design. Basically, I've decided to try working a new sleeping scheme which involves my sleeping two out of every six hours. It's not working.
The following is an email that I sent to a certain Ree this morning at around one o'clock AM. Needless to say, it's an unusual and perhaps disturbing piece of work. Yes, disturbing's the word... There is a question in there somewhere that only those with a flippant mind may answer, and an answer to a question that only those like-minded to myself may interpret correctly. I believe I said something about a swan?
Prepare to read my sleep-deprived revelations. If you can understand them, please, do tell me. Then book yourself in at your local mental asylum.
* * *
Well, Ree, I am up in the wee hours of Tuesday and suffering temporary forced insomnia as part of an experiment into how one copes with social pressures while under the influence of sleep deprivation. Basically, I'm holding an all-nighter and seeing what happens tomorrow.
I thought that intellectual emails would be an interesting addition, therefore I am writing this terribly haphazard email full of useless bits of stuff and so on.
So, firstly I wish to point out that I am not now and never will be Simon Cowell. That would just be terrible and you know it, so no matter what the Morskulentiatiser may say, I am not a body double of simian fowl. As long as that's clear.
Here, have a lolcat. No wait, don't. Provide your own laughable felines. I'm too random to find an image to support this claim.
Do you realise quite how unusual the Hawaiian islands are? They live right in everyone's way. It's inconsiderate, I tell you. I think they should be nuked for military purposes and become the home of dolphins genetically engineered to have legs.
You realise that as I type this message, dolphins are preparing their giant mechs of doom to rain Armageddon down on us? They have the opposite of aquariums: globes of air in which humans live. I'm told that they do a thing where baby dolphins can feed them bread crusts and sushi slices or something similar. Apparently it's therapeutic to go walking with them. Squeak-krih-crack-crack. Well, perhaps that's paraphrasing, but the basic meaning remains.
Isn't Reykjavik an incredible word? If there was a dictionary where words were ordered according to coolness of spelling, it would appear at the front. Or back, depending on whether you start with the most or the least cool.
Iceland is a rather sorry country. I'm not entirely sure what it's plot is. The characters are rather sodden. Perhaps I'm just particular about the pattern of bricks used in house making, but I thought that the structure of the houses there was absolutely terrifying. Not to mention transmogrifying.
In a word of insane people, a sane man must appear insane. In the same fashion: in a sane world, an insane man must be given a high position in government or be made CEO of a major corporation.
Riddle me this, riddle me that: What letter does not come in between the letters j? To follow that chain of thought, we may go in for the following: what is the difference between a duck? If you meet Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. Millennium hand and sausage.
The British Fish & Chip Association is obsolete in schools these days; did you know? It is a dratted shame, it is. School dinners used to be so much more interesting when they had those lucky days where one dinner was loaded with cyanide. Ah, Jimbo... You're unusually dead now, but that's okay. I gave you that dinner because I didn't like you.
Okay, a question for you that actually does have an answer: why does fish equal the meaning of life? That has an answer, and it's perfectly rational if only you would work it out.
Scuppernong. Bush bosh, gribble stitle. Enjoy tgvedx. Nice, isn't it? Editor stinks. Schnick.
Tuesday 3 July 2012
Clearing the Attic
It's amazing what you can find when you aren't looking for it. This is something that I found out firsthand today while helping a very particular grandfather to clear out his attic. Said attic's contents had been accumulating objects - and dust - for several decades at least.
You may be surprised to know just how much dust actually settles on a single rug. I'll give you a hint: it's a cloud. A cloud of dust manages to weave itself into the fibers of a carpet over a large amount of time, and there were at least a dozen carpet pieces and rugs in that attic. This led to a large amount of wheezing and sneezing on my part. Highly unusual. Of course, none of those involved in the clearing had any love for dusty rugs, so they were all chucked into the van and moved to the tip along with a large number of empty cardboard boxes.
It really is quite wonderful what you find in the deep corners of the roof space though. For a start, there was the set of scales we found. I believe them to be a pair of postage scales, once used to weigh packages in order to estimate the cost of sending them. This perhaps archaic device was certainly interesting. It provoked a certain amount of speculation among those present. Stranger still was the box of ammonites, sulfur and geodes recovered from a darker corner. Apparently the old man was a fossil hunter. It looks like he raided a quarry, to be honest... The number of bivalves and assorted molluscs available was phenomenal.
The thought occurs to me that these places are time capsules: gathering dust over ages, they contain treasures unseen for many years. Therefore, if I ever have the opportunity to own a house, I'm going to load the attic with stuff like that - though not, as it seems, rugs. Because no-one likes rugs too much. Not twenty year old ones, at least.
I'm off to set up the CD rack that I salvaged. Loading with Iron Maiden albums... Loading...
Regards,
Pisces
You may be surprised to know just how much dust actually settles on a single rug. I'll give you a hint: it's a cloud. A cloud of dust manages to weave itself into the fibers of a carpet over a large amount of time, and there were at least a dozen carpet pieces and rugs in that attic. This led to a large amount of wheezing and sneezing on my part. Highly unusual. Of course, none of those involved in the clearing had any love for dusty rugs, so they were all chucked into the van and moved to the tip along with a large number of empty cardboard boxes.
It really is quite wonderful what you find in the deep corners of the roof space though. For a start, there was the set of scales we found. I believe them to be a pair of postage scales, once used to weigh packages in order to estimate the cost of sending them. This perhaps archaic device was certainly interesting. It provoked a certain amount of speculation among those present. Stranger still was the box of ammonites, sulfur and geodes recovered from a darker corner. Apparently the old man was a fossil hunter. It looks like he raided a quarry, to be honest... The number of bivalves and assorted molluscs available was phenomenal.
The thought occurs to me that these places are time capsules: gathering dust over ages, they contain treasures unseen for many years. Therefore, if I ever have the opportunity to own a house, I'm going to load the attic with stuff like that - though not, as it seems, rugs. Because no-one likes rugs too much. Not twenty year old ones, at least.
I'm off to set up the CD rack that I salvaged. Loading with Iron Maiden albums... Loading...
Regards,
Pisces
How to Act: The Smart Way
This is basically a re-draft of 'Taking Characterization to the Extreme' as Pisces would have noticed that I have the right to BURN whatever the heck I want if I do not like it, and I've burned a lot of my work.
Anyway, acting may seem easy enough to most people, walk and talk like a different person and get the attention of the crowd. Simple, no? Actually, it is not simple. It's very difficult to hit the right target and get people to believe your character is real. Trust me, I have more years of experience than you would believe.
In this post, I am going to outline the basics you will need to act like a good, believable character. All underlined words will have a proper translation at the bottom.
First, who is your character? Are they old? Young? Stupid? Smart? Fat? Skinny? All these things you need to note down. Different people walk in different ways according to their build and their personality. Before I used to start acting, I used to observe the way certain people that had the basic build of my character would walk and practice it myself. Observing people walking by is a very efficient way to develop the way your character moves, even though it might get you the occasional odd look.
You also need to consider Naturalistic Movement such as body language, facial expression, gesture, eye contact, posture and use of space. Again, you can find out how your character would use these terms by observing people with the characters basic personality or build. Or both. I recommend both.
Next is the way your character speaks. Now, language and voice alter depending on the situation, role and purpose. You do not speak to your mother the same way you speak to your friends, and that continues with your character. They have a different register for different people. Consider your character's relationships with other characters. How do they know them? Are they friend? Rivals? Family? Consider these before you go any further into your characters voice.
Where is your character from? Their family background and the place they grew up in also affects their voice. Naturally, the first one you have to think about is their accent. Were they born in a high-class English family in the Victorian period? If that is the case, then I recommend watching Jane Austen film and reciting everything they say after they say it before you start acting. Sure, people might think your a nut, but it means you have the accent nailed down. You also have to think about things like pace, volume, pitch, tone, fluency and so forth. You have to be able to switch from your own voice to your character's voice in a snap when it comes to acting.
Now, Pisces mentioned acting as role-play in his last post and technically that is true. But it is also wrong. Role-play, from a drama point-of-view, is a means of exploring attitudes and beliefs. You develop and investigate an imaginary situation to help create a character's point-of-view and how they handle a certain situation, but role-play has no pre-determined course or outcome and is merely designed to develop your character.
To really nail down the character, you need a various number of techniques to characterise your...well, character. These are:
- Character Cards (pretty much information sheets on your character)
- Improvisation (spontaneous acting on the spot)
- Role-play (read above)
- Hot-seating (questioning a character in role)
- Voices in the Head (recall or words said by others about a character or situation)
- Writing in Role (like writing a journal as your character)
- Thought Tracking (when a character speaks their thoughts out loud)
- Thought Tunnel (other characters walk past character and comment on their situation)
In characterisation, you are made to think about your characters relationship with other characters, portrayal in terms of language, voice and movement, status, and change in status, of the characters involved, social, economic and cultural background of the character.
And with these basic things, you are already on your way to developing a well-balanced character that appears realistic and interesting to the audience.
That's all I have to say for now. Now, I am going to have a cup of coffee and observe and people attempt (or don't attempt) to do these things while I draw the British Hulk.
SIGNING OFF!
Rinrei
Monday 2 July 2012
Writing, Directing, Acting - The Three-Part Film
As Rinrei mentioned in her post 'Taking Characterisation to the Extreme!', there's been a disturbance in the force: Bats has been writing her very own script. While I had no part in writing it (not that I didn't try), I have experience in writing my own short films, and so am in a position to talk about making films.
There are three things that really make a production: writing, directing and acting. The first of these, writing, is where a script is conceived and written. The second part, directing, ties in with acting in that they tend to occur at the same time - during filming.
Scriptwriting is the most difficult phase from a creative viewpoint. Having an idea is easy, but having the skill to write it down in such a way as to make it seem like a plot is another thing entirely. There is a name for the way different scriptwriters write, and this is called 'voice' - the style of writing unique to that author. For a script to be successful, it must have a unique premise and voice, or it will almost certainly not catch the attention of a director. But when done right, a previously grey, dull idea can be brought to life. If done wrong, you may as well have shot yourself in the foot.
Directing is the easiest of the three - all you need is a large foam arrow and you're set.
Ahem, excuse Matt - he managed to set my computer so that I can't actually delete that at all. Crazy boy. Anyway, onto directing. Directing goes hand in hand with acting: good direction makes good actors, whereas good actors don't necessarily need good direction. The trick with directing a film is to tell people exactly what you want from them and have them follow it through to the letter. If you can do this, you're set. In other words, you simply need a big foam arrow and you're done for the day. The trick is to do it in such a way as to not annoy your actors. I have several strategies on file which I shall not share right now, because I'm evil and don't wish my actors to know how I'm going to make them love me.
Third and last is acting. Basically a big long role-playing game with guidelines, it's a lot of fun for those who enjoy it and don't have the director breathing down their back all the time. It's more fun when the director's actually acting as well, because then you can see how big a hypocrite he/she is. This is why I'd quite like to act in a film that I myself wrote - to make a general fool out of myself. I find it rather funny to see that on film, actually. Can you tell that I like seeing 'You've Been Framed'? But yes, it's the funnest part of creating a film, I think. The trick is to get in character and stay that way. Rinrei recently said that she had allowed a character to really get under her skin. The truth is that while this is an effective scheme, it's really not terribly good for your mental health in the grand scheme of things. You should get in character, yes, but not live your entire life as that character. Perhaps it's a good idea to try it for a few days though before filming begins, or during filming. I don't know; I'm not an actor yet.
So that's my three part guide to filming and moviemaking. Soon enough, we'll find out whether I'm prepared to follow my own 'rules' as I take on the different parts - after all, I write scripts, I shall be directing them when they are produced and perhaps acting in them too. For now, though, I bid you farewell. And whoever it is with the tablet device, riddle me this: how does it do with the site in comparison to a computer? Sorry. Random question. Heheh.
Adieu, mon amis.
Professor Pisces
There are three things that really make a production: writing, directing and acting. The first of these, writing, is where a script is conceived and written. The second part, directing, ties in with acting in that they tend to occur at the same time - during filming.
Scriptwriting is the most difficult phase from a creative viewpoint. Having an idea is easy, but having the skill to write it down in such a way as to make it seem like a plot is another thing entirely. There is a name for the way different scriptwriters write, and this is called 'voice' - the style of writing unique to that author. For a script to be successful, it must have a unique premise and voice, or it will almost certainly not catch the attention of a director. But when done right, a previously grey, dull idea can be brought to life. If done wrong, you may as well have shot yourself in the foot.
Directing is the easiest of the three - all you need is a large foam arrow and you're set.
Ahem, excuse Matt - he managed to set my computer so that I can't actually delete that at all. Crazy boy. Anyway, onto directing. Directing goes hand in hand with acting: good direction makes good actors, whereas good actors don't necessarily need good direction. The trick with directing a film is to tell people exactly what you want from them and have them follow it through to the letter. If you can do this, you're set. In other words, you simply need a big foam arrow and you're done for the day. The trick is to do it in such a way as to not annoy your actors. I have several strategies on file which I shall not share right now, because I'm evil and don't wish my actors to know how I'm going to make them love me.
Third and last is acting. Basically a big long role-playing game with guidelines, it's a lot of fun for those who enjoy it and don't have the director breathing down their back all the time. It's more fun when the director's actually acting as well, because then you can see how big a hypocrite he/she is. This is why I'd quite like to act in a film that I myself wrote - to make a general fool out of myself. I find it rather funny to see that on film, actually. Can you tell that I like seeing 'You've Been Framed'? But yes, it's the funnest part of creating a film, I think. The trick is to get in character and stay that way. Rinrei recently said that she had allowed a character to really get under her skin. The truth is that while this is an effective scheme, it's really not terribly good for your mental health in the grand scheme of things. You should get in character, yes, but not live your entire life as that character. Perhaps it's a good idea to try it for a few days though before filming begins, or during filming. I don't know; I'm not an actor yet.
So that's my three part guide to filming and moviemaking. Soon enough, we'll find out whether I'm prepared to follow my own 'rules' as I take on the different parts - after all, I write scripts, I shall be directing them when they are produced and perhaps acting in them too. For now, though, I bid you farewell. And whoever it is with the tablet device, riddle me this: how does it do with the site in comparison to a computer? Sorry. Random question. Heheh.
Adieu, mon amis.
Professor Pisces
A Shout-Out for my Uncle
Yesterday was my Uncle Tom's birthday, which is something to celebrate in itself. But this was no ordinary birthday. No, no. This was his 50th birthday. Or, as my brother put it, his 29th anniversary of his 21st birthday.
Anywho, considering the fact that it was his 50th birthday and he was an official granddad (well, his daughter does have a child now...), we decided to give him a surprise party. Yes, we reverted to our childhood years in which we would attempt to surprise the birthday boy with a horrible excuse for a birthday party and most of the time the kiddo already knew there was a party.
Fortunately, the Malcolm family are ninjas so he expected nothing. It wasn't until he got to the dimly lit room (which my brother and I came to the conclusion was a meeting place for vampires, especially with that window that opened up to a wall) and he saw us trying to catch his grandson who was trying to make a grand escape through to the pool room by smacking his head against the door. As you can tell, he's related to me.
Tom, unlike me, didn't fall to the ground and die upon realizing this was a surprise party for him. I must say, I feel quite proud about having him as an uncle, not just because of the fact he didn't spontaneously die on us, although that is one reason for it, but because he's generally a great man with an awesome sense of humour (far better than moi) and I can, without hesitation, point and him and scream: IT'S BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! Even though he has no part in the Armstrong family. He's an awesome guy and although his memory and sense of direction are as bad as mine, I can happily say I can rely on him.
So, Uncle Tom, if you're reading this; this is your crazy niece of whom almost killed you with that hug yesterday saying: You're half a century old, make sure to cause riots in the nursing home!
Signing off!
Rinrei
P.S. Did I mention what I got the scampi in? My inner dweeb demanded I shove it into mum's bag and take it home, but her bag was too small...
P.S.S. I also met a man called Paul with an Irish accent that preformed magic tricks for everyone. I think he's a leprechaun. Either way, if there is a person in my family with an Irish accent, I'm happy.
Anywho, considering the fact that it was his 50th birthday and he was an official granddad (well, his daughter does have a child now...), we decided to give him a surprise party. Yes, we reverted to our childhood years in which we would attempt to surprise the birthday boy with a horrible excuse for a birthday party and most of the time the kiddo already knew there was a party.
Fortunately, the Malcolm family are ninjas so he expected nothing. It wasn't until he got to the dimly lit room (which my brother and I came to the conclusion was a meeting place for vampires, especially with that window that opened up to a wall) and he saw us trying to catch his grandson who was trying to make a grand escape through to the pool room by smacking his head against the door. As you can tell, he's related to me.
Tom, unlike me, didn't fall to the ground and die upon realizing this was a surprise party for him. I must say, I feel quite proud about having him as an uncle, not just because of the fact he didn't spontaneously die on us, although that is one reason for it, but because he's generally a great man with an awesome sense of humour (far better than moi) and I can, without hesitation, point and him and scream: IT'S BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! Even though he has no part in the Armstrong family. He's an awesome guy and although his memory and sense of direction are as bad as mine, I can happily say I can rely on him.
So, Uncle Tom, if you're reading this; this is your crazy niece of whom almost killed you with that hug yesterday saying: You're half a century old, make sure to cause riots in the nursing home!
Signing off!
Rinrei
P.S. Did I mention what I got the scampi in? My inner dweeb demanded I shove it into mum's bag and take it home, but her bag was too small...
 |
| Yes, I actually got it in one of these. |
Sunday 1 July 2012
July 2012 Update
Professor Pisces here with the monthly update from the Kettle. First of all, I'd like to say that it's been a great month. We like it when we get views from a minimum of 20 different countries. Smiley face.
Last month, we introduced absolutely nothing new and managed to top our charts pretty nicely. You see, the glory of the Internet is that things may travel fast and far. That's excellent. We're on our way to becoming an Internet phenomenon... I wish.
Yesterday, I formed a new blog: Dead Fish (http://deadfishproductions.blogspot.com/). This is the official website of the newly-formed 'Dead Fish Productions', a production company working to create short films, animations and general movie goodness. Hop across to the site now to find out more.
So what are our plans for the coming month? Well first of all, it's the summer holidays now, which means that people now have far too much time in which to do stuff and blog about it. This should result in an increase in posts, though knowing this lazy lot, there'll be nothing done at all. (Matt, Evil, it's quite obvious that laziness is what makes you siblings. Get out there! Post!) Rinrei will probably continue with her 'one extra-long post per week' idea (an annoying and ultimately pointless idea, in my (The Editor's) opinion) and The Editor will continue to sulk about it. Meanwhile, I'll be talking about short film production on the Dead Fish blog, which should be growing immensely over the following month as we recruit people for our productions. Hopefully. We've already got Dan Johnson hauling himself aboard our merry boat, and RPP shouldn't be that far behind. (Ha, delusions of grandeur... Did I really write that?)
Good luck for July, people. Enjoy the sun (if it shines). Have a cold drink. Sit back with a book or, even better, with a tablet device that has an Internet connection and read our posts. We'll be seeing you around.
Regards for July,
Professor Pisces
Last month, we introduced absolutely nothing new and managed to top our charts pretty nicely. You see, the glory of the Internet is that things may travel fast and far. That's excellent. We're on our way to becoming an Internet phenomenon... I wish.
Yesterday, I formed a new blog: Dead Fish (http://deadfishproductions.blogspot.com/). This is the official website of the newly-formed 'Dead Fish Productions', a production company working to create short films, animations and general movie goodness. Hop across to the site now to find out more.
So what are our plans for the coming month? Well first of all, it's the summer holidays now, which means that people now have far too much time in which to do stuff and blog about it. This should result in an increase in posts, though knowing this lazy lot, there'll be nothing done at all. (Matt, Evil, it's quite obvious that laziness is what makes you siblings. Get out there! Post!) Rinrei will probably continue with her 'one extra-long post per week' idea (an annoying and ultimately pointless idea, in my (The Editor's) opinion) and The Editor will continue to sulk about it. Meanwhile, I'll be talking about short film production on the Dead Fish blog, which should be growing immensely over the following month as we recruit people for our productions. Hopefully. We've already got Dan Johnson hauling himself aboard our merry boat, and RPP shouldn't be that far behind. (Ha, delusions of grandeur... Did I really write that?)
Good luck for July, people. Enjoy the sun (if it shines). Have a cold drink. Sit back with a book or, even better, with a tablet device that has an Internet connection and read our posts. We'll be seeing you around.
Regards for July,
Professor Pisces
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