Obesity.

Yes, Obesity. More commonly known on this blog as utter laziness and, I'm afraid, that is my excuse. However, do not worry, I've had the laziness liposuction-ed out of me, mentally. Which means that, unfortunately, I am back. Kekeke (<- New signature, evil laugh). So, as a gift to you, I come with a story to share. It is titled 'Mogalman and the Brigands'.

Mogalman and the Brigands

Hi there. So the Brigands died because the Mogalman swallowed them with PURE OBESITY.


Did you enjoy that story? Good. There's plenty more where that came from, that is unless obesity differs. But seriously, I'll try not to go on another untold hiatus again. I'm just glad the good Professor allowed me to keep my position.

Now my fellow blogalikes, I have news for you. I'm sort of a Captain now. Not a Captain in the army, nor am I a noble, posh trading company Captain. I am a Pirate, a man o' the sea's. However, most of you stereotypical Pirates as horribly unhygienic, pillaging ruffians. Might I mention that every single one of you are wrong, well, we pillage, sometimes. But that's beside the point, we have good intentions.

Now it's time for me to begone. I shall return, though. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. But if there's one thing a Pirate is, he is honest. I shall be back, Professor. Kekeke.

Billiam Harkin Hanselton

BARRELS!

Considering Pisces has written a post on what he is doing (i.e. excuses) I feel I have just as much right to do so as him. So, naturally, I'm going to be a lazy bugger and write a list (i.e. to do list so that I can't slack off and go on the internet for bugger all).

• Finish 'Future Talk' (three more pages)
• Finish 'Story of the Century' (two more pages)
• Clean chapter six of 'Abide in the Wind' (because the world demands it)
• Search e-bay for cheap wigs and a boat oar (unless Dragon really does have a boat oar and wasn't just trying to cheer me up)
• GET SOME DAYUM ACTORS
• Make costumes. (Yes, make. Life is becoming that difficult.)
• Interrogate Pisces about the completed script of episode one of YYH Live Action (do this next week after he's finished his essay)
• Plan chapter two of 'Future Talk' and 'Story of the Century' for next month
• Start story for Writer's Group (first chapter done)
• Update 'Alice Human Sacrifice: The Tale Brought to Life'
• Update 'The Death Defying Marion Parker'
• Update 'How NOT To Write A Kuroshitsuji Story'
• Update 'Demon' ASAP
• Edit out chapter three of 'The Black Firefly' for Bill then send it to her
• Begin looking for locations for scenes for YYH Live Action
• Start listing props
• Design digital backgrounds
• Complete personal experience (for Thursday)
• Complete Psychology Homework
• Begin searching for clip-on microphones and extra cameras
• Once getting the script, announce the official one on the group
• Then update images on group to show what we have and what we need
• Add more money to the budget out of lunch money (in future add birthday and Christmas money)

And that all has to be done within the next week and a half. No pressure then. So, with that thought in mind, I have a perfectly good excuse for not being online i.e. I have a lot on my plate, stop bugging me. 

Now everyone else...hmm...I'm not sure about Evil who hasn't been online at all for donkey know how long and Matt is just lazy. Bill has gone ahead and blown up and no one knows where the Editor is. So it's just Pisces and I. Sorta. We're both completely overloaded with work, so that's making things awkward for us.

BARRELS!

Rinrei

What am I up to?

I was rather hoping that someone else would have posted by now, but I am sorely disappointed by my fellow authors. I can see where this is going... I have to yell at Evil. She has nothing of significance to be doing; she should be posting too. EVIL! Rest not upon your laurels!

What the heck am I doing in my spare time? Pretty much nothing, actually. I'm writing a short story, playing chess online, answering emails and finishing off essays and whatnot. Oh, and making music with the guitar. The Professor rocks... Literally. Writing solos is pretty good fun; aye it is.

I get the feeling that this is probably a very boring post. That is because it is. I shall have to do something to spice it up a little. Oh, look... what's that? Is that a... Mine Tutle?

There you go. Enjoy the awesomeness of the Mine Turtle.

September 2012 Update

Literally nothing has happened last month. Trust me when I say it: Everyone has been being ridiculously lazy. Even me. Yeah, as much as it is hard to believe, I have not been blogging half as much as is necessary over the last month. Hopefully, this shall change. But I had an excuse.

Camp NaNoWriMo, that most wonderful of wordy challenges, that lexical frenzy of literary abandon. I was busy writing another 50,000 word novel last month, and as such had little time to spare for the blog. This is in many ways unfortunate. It means that I can't shout at everyone else for being so much less than productive, simply because it would be hypocritical to do so. But this is a new month. I can shout now. It's a new month.

So, what about September? Well, this September will mark the Kettle's first birthday (!). As such, we'll be doing some stuff for that. I have ideas. Not that I've shared them yet. It's coming to me slowly.

What else is there? Well, I may just start writing some reviews and snarky posts about the new series of Doctor Who that started the other day, and undoubtedly someone shall moan about the dawn of the new school year. Boo hoo, I say, roll on the exams.

It should be clear to you that we are well and truly winging it this month, with no particular plan or schedule in place. But let's face it: we've been winging it for eleven months so far, and we now have a ridiculous number of views. It's worked so far. Why not continue with that ideal?

Regards,
   The Kettle

Lump of Clay

Today I decided to be slightly creative and explored the unexplored pits of my house, hoping to find a secret door or potentially a closet that would lead to Narnia. Highly possible considering the noises I hear in my brother's wardrobe when I decide to enter the abyss known as his room.

Anyway, while I was off on my exploration with an Indiana Jones hat, I came across many new entities I had not seen before. A perfect example of this is the massive spider in the ventilation that I have discovered is actually deadly. I have named him Mario due to his overall fatness.

When I decided to go outside I came across a small brown mouse living under our shed who I named Charles in memory of a previous mouse I found while hiking up the hill behind our house who was tragically killed by a cat. 

It was after returning from the shed and naming our Buddha statue Bob that I decided that I would explore the cupboard because, you know, that's what you do when you're bored out of your wits. So, I opened the cupboards and found something that left me in so much shock that I fell to the ground and died. Luckily, I came back to life. 

In the pits of the lower cupboard in my barely used kitchen, I came across three kilograms of the most sacred material known to man: Clay. Coming across such a thing was so amazing that I instantly took the massive, unused bricks of clay and returned to my room, dreaming up crazy designs and acting like a typical, obnoxious five-year-old, mumbling madly to herself about what monstrous things she could create.  

However, after half an hour of having this brick of clay in front of me, I am yet to do anything with it, and for some reason I feel as though I won't be doing anything with it any time soon. I remember, just before going on the laptop, that I saw this lump of clay and asked myself: What was I about to do with that? Before suddenly bursting out with: Holy Ra! It's a lump of clay! And repeating the whole incident again. 

I think I just might be turning into a Dalek like Amy was with her memory vanishing. Yeah, that's right, I watched Doctor Who for the first time in my life yesterday. Come at me.

SIGNING OFF!
   Rinrei