Christmas Time

Hello my friends. I know it has been a long time unless you count that rather short message I posted a while ago. Maybe you have all completely forgotten who I am but do not despair. The operation is still moving forward as planned.
   My servants friends, I have decided  that today I shall be reviewing the lovely month of December in all its glory: the good and the bad. I plan to make this extra long so that the Professor will behave and stop telling me to be more active because let's face it, during the operation I will be in a room miles away pushing little models with a stick.
   So anyway, December. It's a very special month, isn't it? Due to mass advertising, many companies think they can use Christmas as a way of making people think that their product is the best damn thing in the world simply because their advert features Santa. One of the best adverts I feel for showing this is the advert for 4music - a music channel which I feel is utterly useless - where they portray many Santas in a 'Santa Rehabilitation Centre' and have included nothing about music or any artists. Advertising, I think, is one of the many things that have made people hate this wonderful holiday.
   And on that subject there is the music.Who has not wanted to tear out their eardrums with burning hot wires whenever they hear the absolute torture that is 'Sleigh Ride'? One of my rather tall friends at school is in danger of having his throat ripped out as he has managed to find one hundred different Christmas songs, and we don't like Christmas songs. I'm not saying that I do not occasionally like to hear a little 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town', but to all shops out there: WE DO NOT NEED TO HEAR IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHILE WE SHOP FOR OUR CHRISTMAS DINNERS!!!
   Yes. I call Christmas Christmas. Deal with it.
   I do love the food though. Turkey leaves much to be desired, but the rest of the food is delicious. Pigs-in-Blankets, Roast Potatoes, that weird cauliflower and cheese thing my dad makes every year, etc, etc. Christmas is a natural way of storing the much-needed stuff that will keep us going through winter, ie it's a way of making ourselves fat with Mince Pies. Christmas, like many other traditional holidays, is a full-on 'I'm going to stuff my face with food' holiday.
   But we all know the reason why Christmas is too stressful for us humans. That reason is buying presents for people. Every year since I was thirteen I have placed it upon myself to buy all the Christmas presents for my friends. Also, since I was thirteen I haven't had a decent night's sleep in December. The choice of what to get people is endless: should you get something practical for your friends that they'll use over and over again (in my case, pens)? Or should you get them something full of novelty which only they shall see the humour (in my case, a mushroom)? Maybe something home-made will suffice (I don't have a case for this). Or you could just get them chocolate to add to the extra weight that they will collect at Christmas Dinner? Those are the main things you can get for your friends. There is also the case of picking something of the right value. You don't want to give someone some chocolate that cost you £3 and then they give you an expensive ornament that they found in Harrods that they knew was for you. It's like trying to fish for tuna with your bare hands in shark infested waters. Pick the wrong one and suddenly you've lost something important. Wait too long and you will still lose.
   I know I have been complaining quite a bit here, but the truth is I actually love Christmas. I love seeing the general Christmas films that end up on TV and I do get a nice feeling out of giving people presents. And also it's nice seeing that people do in fact care for you enough to send you a card or a present. Also, the Professor complains all the time in his so-called 'insights', so why can't I?
   Christmas rules, peeps!