Here at the Kettle, we have several different mottoes, most of them being mine. First and foremost is 'Knowledge is Power', which is why I allow you all to be filled with rubbish streaming from the mouth of Matt. Secondly, there's 'Cogito Ergo Sum', which obviously means 'I think, therefore I am'. (If you didn't know that then either you've never done much philosophy or are a hermit who has lived a remarkably long time.) Third, but by no means the last, on our list is 'It's not Cheating, it's just Advertising'.
The origin of this statement is both little-known and of little consequence. The line was born during a particular encounter with the Great and Powerful Skald, who is at times a nuisance and a cheater. (If you read this, I'm sure you'll remember to comment on how everything I'm saying is true, Skald.) The conflict from which said motto stemmed was fairly trivial. He wished to win an online competition, therefore he decided to put up posters about the place asking for folk to vote for him. I said it was cheating; he replied that it was advertising. Hence the words: "It's not cheating, it's just advertising."
Needless to say, nobody voted and that was that. But even then, the statement persisted. And the worst thing is that it's true, too. In the face of being unable to reply in a witty fashion and have the last word while managing to completely disprove everything, I decided to take drastic measures. I adopted it as one of my principle mottoes.
Such is life that I passed on those words of ultimate wisdom to the least wise person on the entire planet, if not maybe the whole dimensional plane. Of course that person is Matt. (Though depending on how you look at it, he may be the wisest of us all and we're all too silly to see it. Though that, I find unlikely.) And, in true Kettle fashion, he plagiarised it.
It's a fact that here at the Kettle, we like to steal a line here and there, usually to subtly embed within the body of a post. Also, we enjoy sending our insidious agents to each other's houses to take ideas from the Ideas Jars that stand in place of the biscuit tins. This is, of course, where the post 'Pink Hippos' came from, though I can't say whose idea it was in the first place. Some philosopher, I guess. But don't all great writers just pluck lines from others' mouths? So is the phrase:
Good writers borrow; great writers steal.
That's sound advice for anyone out there wanting to write the next 'Lord of the Rings' saga. Don't start from scartch, steal 'The Lord of the Rings' instead.
My point is made. We all like to steal from each other. Such is the authorship of this blog. It's a continuing battle that I intend to win. It's like 'Hungry Hungry Hippos'. Don't believe me? Look it up on YouTube.
A warning to you, Matt: Steal my lines at your peril! If you take too many then I'll raid your mind and leave you out of lines. And I will be King! Muhaha! Muhahahaha!
Ahem.
Keep stealing, folks.
Professor Pisces
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