Eggs.

It might be me again. How would you know? The internet is a dangerous place. I could be me, or I could actually be a really greasy old crisp. You can never tell.

Anywasp, I might actually have something to say this time. Perhaps not. Even if i did have something to say, would I tell you? And even if I told you, would you listen? Remember, this is the internet. I'm not me.

Right now, with very little say, I think I will teach you how to makes scrambled eggs.

Wash yer hands. You need to unless you enjoy eating cow udder grease or whatever the hands of peasants come in contact with.

Find some eggs. Chicken eggs. Not human eggs, please...

Now you have some eggs, throw them at someone you don't like. Then get some more eggs. Alternatively, skip this step and be known as a silly billy for the next forty-six minutes.

Crack the eggs on the side of the bowl. Don't let the insides fall in. Use them as shampoo.

And that is how you make shampoo from scratch. Which may or may not be what you were expecting. Now my peasant-o-meter is blinking, so I should probably leave now.

Goodbye.
   P.S. Please don't use egg as shampoo. It's bad enough you use pig fat as soap.