Hello, My Old Servants/Friends...

Well, isn't it lovely to see you all again. I am back, and believe me when I say that you're all getting about mouthful of pure Evil Mistress talk.

You see, you should have all at least noticed that I have all been missing. I know for a fact I was being begged for and that pleases me. But anyway, I have been in Belgium and Paris for the last week or so as part of my history class. Get ready for tales of Laughter, Tears and even Love. (But since I can't really be bothered we'll be doing one day at a time. I have better things to do with my time.)

So let's all go back... to a time where I set my alarm clock stupidly early...

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The First Day
Why you shouldn't sit next to me on a really long bus journey.

You really shouldn't. I get very excitable.

But it all started at bloody 3:30 in the morning when my stupid alarm clock decided to blare into my ear the consequence of not paying attention to the fact that I had not paid attention when setting the alarm. With an exasperated sigh I proceeded to destroy my clock with a conveniently placed hammer.

No that didn't happen.

But I was ready in about an hour. I didn't have to be where the bus was until 5:45am. It was 4:30. I had to entertain myself so I went for the obvious choice. I logged on to Facebook, where I checked to see if any other of my travelling 'friends' were available to talk to them in a conversation that would mainly consist of "I'm so EXCITED!!!!! <3". Unfortunately it seemed all my 'friends' were smart and were actually doing something sensible. Like sleeping.

Anyway, it conspired that I couldn't bear to be on Facebook anymore so I ran to the safety of my bedroom where I watched Mock the Week: Too Hot for TV!. I wasn't going to be able to watch many comedies during the next week so I may well be prepared for Chick Flicks and stupid Action Films.

But here's the crunch. I figured since I was leaving so early I would say goodbye to my family the night before. Hugs and a "We'll miss you!". But my father was the one who was to take me to the bus, my mother wanted to see me off and my brother, who you all know as Matt, wakes up stupidly early already. So all my goodbyes bar one were useless. I had been given useless goodbyes. But still I said goodbye to them again and me and my dad sped off to the school which had the bus.

I can't tell you much about the journey there. Me and my dad don't talk particularly much unless it's about the past. Which was good because I was about to endure a trip to the past during the next week.

I got to the school with plenty of time to spare and proceeded to give the very nice bus driver, who shall be known as Andy, my suitcase and wellies. I looked around. There were parents standing around and I figured they were waiting to see their children off. You know, the ones they've looked after for fifteen years? So I figured I hug my dad because I knew what he was going to do. I hugged him awkwardly and got onto the bus to sit next to my friend, The Mushroom, and low and behold my dad sped away in his car in that time while some mother was crying her eyes out for her son.

Don't worry. I love him really.

But our journey couldn't start. We were late to leave because of one boy who we shall call ... Bayo. Bayo was a sensible boy who doesn't look like much but he can kick ass. I enjoy talking to Bayo so I was getting a little worried about him to the point at 5:55 I was clutching The Mushroom's arm until it might as well have fallen off. One minute to six, no Bayo. At 6:00 though, on the dot, a car came speeding past and Bayo rushed out his case trailing behind him. I breathed a sigh of relief.

And so our journey began. A journey of wonder it seems to the other school. We were wondering about them because in the past months we had only ever met a few. Only one of them was still in my mind really. So when people slowly piled onto the bus we were all thinking "What manner of creatures are these?" but again we carried on our journey.

I can't recall exactly what I was talking about. I remember watching Toy Story 3, where I nearly cried as Woody said his last line. But I do remember making a new friend, who we shall call Meg. Our meeting really isn't a brilliant one. It just started with her turning around and saying "I'm bored, can I talk to you?"

Hell, it gave us something to do on the bus.

At Stirling Service station we stopped to have a quick break, where I gazed in wonder at voodoo dolls and bought two, much to my friend's distress. They just bought sweets but I could only laugh at that. I had bought TEN packets of Polos in advance. So there.

But back on the bus journey to carry on to the next service station where we pigged out on chips. Just chips. It was wonderful really.

Still we pressed onwards until we got to Hull. It was an odd experience being in Hull and it was an even odder experience seeing the ferry. I didn't know boats could be that large. I didn't know they could have floors...

So my ignorance of ships was quite funny according to The Mushroom and my other friend, Bats. We got to the waiting room where I sat quietly wanting to get on the boat quickly. I had been on a ferry before but that was when I was about four so I wanted to see what had changed.

It was magical. It was like stepping into a hotel, not a boat. I honestly couldn't believe it. It was so fancy. It Had a cinema for crying out loud! But after throwing our overnight bags into our small rooms me and my friends went to wander where we found the video games.

I'm a big gamer. But I suck at gaming so I lost £2 for shooting at people.

But we eventually got bored as dinner was over and the movie theater was showing Horrid Henry. So Bats got out her cards.

I have never lost so many card games in my life. If we were betting, I would have become bankrupt.

Still that was really the day in all it's glory. There really were no exciting discoveries and nothing terribly new happened except when we went out on deck and I got some of my best photos.

Peace out peeps! And expect more tomorrow!

Note to the Professor: If you dare delete this post or edit it, I will kill you. You have no idea how long it took to type this up.

Note from the Professor: No, I have no idea how long it took to type it, but can you believe that it's taken me a very long time to edit out all your mistakes? Call me a Grammar Nazi, but you made a fair number of basic grammatical errors. Here I was thinking you had been spending the last week on a school trip.

As for killing me, I think you shall find that rather difficult when I am in charge of a sizeable arsenal and an equally sizeable army of killer androids while you are the leader of a motley group of Mafia wannabes armed with two-by-fours and a golf cart.