Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Revealing Identities

I'm afraid, everyone, I've been keeping my identity a secret from you, my fellow authors. I am in fact an assassin for hire that will carry out any deadly deed if I get the sufficient amount of coin. In this case, Pisces paid me to... Keep the blog slightly more active. It's not something I specialise in, but I get the income.

But I'm not the only one with secrets. In fact, I've done my fair share of spying on you authors, and I've discovered some very interesting things about you.

First of all, I'm aware that Pisces has an uncanny fear of a Zulu Lawyer inviting him out to play volleyball in the Amazon Rainforest. He's also bald, but he sewed Iron Wool into his scalp and spraypainted it blond.

Secondly, I've come to understand that Matt, when it isn't necessary to act superior, enjoys brushing his teeth in very public places. Also, although he doesn't show it, he loves the name Franz, especially for a slug.

Next we have Rinrei. She enjoys the music of Daniel Auber and finds Lizard People attractive. As well as that, she has a sixth sense which tells her whether or not old folk dislike her.

Now we have EMoC. She has been dead for 15 years now, but her spirit lives on and is currently working for the CIA.

Finally we have The Editor. I've got it; the Editor's secret! And now you'll all know what's behind the ominous being we know as The Eternal Editor. The Editor, believe it or not, is actually sc-ERROR 1252589978090001029384020193040493948 DATA CANNOT BE FOUND.

THIS IS AN INTERNAL ERROR THAT IS THE FAULT OF THE-ETERNAL-EDITOPTER screeshuptinuptitudinal1988680348978987654539016348

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