All Going To Die...?

It's a well-known fact that everybody dies. In death, only several variables present themselves: The date, the cause and the location. Nobody knows what any of these three variables will end up being, even if you're locked in a Death Row cell. After all, you could escape, or possibly survive the experience. It wouldn't be good and it wouldn't be in the least likely, but quantum theory tells us that everything will happen at some point. Even taking this into account, it's very unlikely that this quantum effect would affect an individual so that they can predict when they're going to die. That would just be weird.
   However, it seems to me that a fair number of people, or at least a large number of tabloid newspapers and babbling fools, believe that the world shall end on December 21st 2012 (and yes, Rinrei, I've researched it, so this is the correct date). There's been quite a fuss about it recently. There's been a movie produced (aptly named '2012'; very imaginative, folks) and numerous books and TV documentaries created to either compliment or attempt to disprove the theory. However, it seems that not very many people know much about this supposedly ominous date other than it's supposed to herald the end of the world.
   The source of the 2012 myth could (and can) be attributed to many people, events and cultures, however one sticks out above most: The great Nostradamus. Nostradamus is rather famous nowadays because people appear to have rediscovered his books of prophecies, 'The Prophecies' (the title of the publication being another fine example of imagination at work). He is reputed to have predicted that the world will end in the year A.D. 2012, though this fact is much disputed by just about anyone with a penchant for debate. Nostradamus is credited with having made correct predictions before, among them being the First and Second World Wars and the Twin Towers tragedy. However, the question stands as to whether Nostra-man here actually did predict them, and, perhaps more to the point, how accurately he predicted them. There is a point in 'accurately' being in italics, as you shall see right about now.

I am an apprentice Seer. I wish to see the future, but I'm not very good at it, so I make an educated guess at what may happen and then make it rather vague so that it can apply to pretty much everything you want. (Basically, I cheat. But that's beside the point.) One day, a woman wants her fortune told. I need money for a coffee, so I say 'Yeah, sure thing.' I predict that she must avoid the colours fluorescent orange, red and yellow with black stripes. Slightly freaked, she hands over her money and I enjoy a good latte.

The point here is that the prediction in the story was sufficiently vague that it could be twisted to fit whatever the twister wished it to fit. For example, fluorescent orange can be seen in traffic cones. You avoid them anyway and see them around fairly often, in my case on the heads of statues and in the laps of stone lions. They signify danger anyway, so avoiding them makes things easier. If you dislike traffic cones for starters then you can be fairly certain that you will give them a wider berth. Next up, yellow with black stripes can be found on many dangerous things including bees, construction equipment and WARNING signs, to name a few. This colour configuration is likely to crop up at some point and signify caution anyway. Really, all I've given the woman is some good advice.
   This isn't the best example of all. The best explanation is coming up right now.
   Imagine, ten thousand years ago, that a man writes down a prophecy. (How he manages to do so without sparking civilisation I don't know. Just play along.) Three thousand years later, someone discovers it. They decide it's worth keeping and pass it down through generations. As time goes by, the possibility that certain aspects of the prophecy will come true becomes greater and greater, until, possibly an infinite amount of time later, all the elements may well come together. Therefore, a man writing several hundred years ago that metal birds will fly into something with bad consequences is rather likely to come true. (This happened. Just ask George W. Bush.) Taking this into account, if you predict that the world will end, then over time the chances of it happening will increase dramatically. Such is how it may well have worked with Nostril Boy so far.
   The fact is, though, that the Nostradamus thing is just a prophecy, and a dodgy one at that. So let's look at this another way. What do we know will be happening in 2012 that could signify the end of the world?
   Well, first of all, there is the problem of the Mayan Calendar. The Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar is a wonderful and really, really messed up thing. It's wonderful in the sense that I really don't know very much about it, and moronic because of its timescale. The Mayans used things called b'ak'tuns, which were sections of time that lasted for 144,000 days. (FYI, one b'ak'tun lasts for around 395-and-a-quarter years. That's a while.) On the 21st of December, the thirteenth cycle of 144,000 days since the supposed beginning of creation ends. This is referred to as the end of a 'Great Cycle'. It's commonly known as the end of the Mayan Calendar. So the Mayan Calendar is finishing off a 'Great Cycle' of thirteen lots of 144,000 days. Thirteen is, to superstitious people, an unlucky number. Ergo, the end of a 'Great Cycle' could be viewed as unlucky.
   Other interesting happenings set to take place in 2012 include at least two incredibly prestigious supercomputers being completed and the solar maximum. The solar maximum is rather a big thing among astronomers, as during it the sun's magnetic poles are set to reverse. If you watch such programmes as 'Primeval', you would know to be wary of the swapping of the magnetic poles of anything. Conspiracy theorists would jump at the prospect of a possible apocalypse being caused by the sun reversing its poles. There you go, Mr Conspiracy Theorist. Have that one on me.
   I also mentioned supercomputers. If you have a good taste in entertainment, then you will have seen 'The Matrix' and 'The Terminator' films, and therefore know that potential Artificially Intelligent computers could well 'kill the humans!'. However, I personally rate the chances of a pair of machines taking over the world without a) limbs and b) help from the cuttlefish as extremely low. Not when we can literally unplug them. (Maybe I've just tempted fate there. Fate, resist temptation for once, please!)
   As such, we can practically dispel any theories that the world will end on the 21st. However, I don't like it when the winter solstice, a possible Nostril-Dam prophecy and the fairly unlikely possibility that the sun's poles will reverse all coincide... It may be just a little too much. And, as I like to say, I don't believe in coincidences. Hmm...