Disproving The Infinite Universe Theory

Some of you may be aware that the universe exists. That's interesting. It disproves that it doesn't exist, and shows that you have powers of observation that extend past those of Scooby Doo's gang. However, the fact that the universe does indeed exist has already been proven. I think. Has it?
   Anyway, for the purpose of this post, assume that the universe exists. Some people, who like the idea that everything goes on and on for ever and ever, also think the universe to be infinite. I am posting now to say that I have proof to say that they are wrong. However, before that exciting conclusion, I feel the need to explain the complications of the Infinite Universe Theory.
   More a pyschological than scientific argument, the Infinite Universe Theory is a wonderful thing: If something can be imagined to happen, it will be happening somewhere in the universe. Therefore, if you can imagine a cow that's red and has pink hippos for feet, all eight of which have steaks driven through their hearts (and yes, Editor, that's the right kind of steak), there will be one around somewhere. Not necessarily anywhere nearby, but it shall be around somewhere. This has some interesting complications. If the universe is infinite, then that would mean that everything physically possible and/or imaginable would happen, all the time. Yet by definition there are one or two things that just can't happen. One of these is simply not existing. In an infinite universe, surely at one point there would be a place where the universe did not exist? Of course, by definition this is impossible. You can't have something not existing as one of the possibilities in said thing. That would just be plain wrong.
   It is, for this reason, that we can already assume that the Infinite Universe Theory has some problems with it, and they don't all originate from Old Farmer John's tractor's cat's second cousin's toy frog, as it would appear. Of course, the next step from finding something wrong with something is to try and dismember it completely. And that is what I shall now do.

The universe began with the event collectively refered to as 'The Big Bang', correct? When this happened, something infinitesmally small expanded and sort of exploded, making the universe what it is today, right? (Clue: The answer is 'correct'.) This isn't necessary to the post, it's just background info.
   Well, recent research by astronomers has found that the universe is expanding constantly. Therefore, it cannot be infinite. If it were infinite then we couldn't measure a boundary moving, as it would have no boundary, would it? Being infinite is like that. As Ptaclusp IIb (or was it IIa?) would say, 'It's quantum'.
   So, in a single stroke I have disembowelled the beloved Infinite Universe Theory. However, there is undoubtedly a doctor out there who could stitch it all back together if he set his mind to it, which is kind of depressing...