A Conspiracy in Greenland

It's a conspiracy! A conspiracy, I tell you! And it's real. Not one of those conspiracies where people say that the 9/11 attacks were planned or anything, nor one where they all say that David Cameron's bald. And I discovered it today.
   Okay, here's the thing: The Greenland ice cap isn't real. (Shh! The blacksuits will get me with their black helicopters!)
   "Where's your proof?" you ask. Funny, that. That's what the police asked me when I told them. But back to the point. I don't need to present any. If I did, it would be deleted by the conspirators. You should know that. Suckers.
   So I don't present to you any proof of this blatantly obvious fact as I a) need none and b) it would be deleted by the US Government. Well, it's obvious, isn't it? The US are the creators of the Fake Greenland Ice Cap. Duh. Who else would do a silly thing like that? Plus, they want to wipe out all conspiracy theorists with their SOPA and PIPA thingies. So it's obviously the US Government behind all of this.

   

   Even if you deny it, you all know it's true. Images such as the one on the left obviously show the world's largest island with a very large plastic sheet covering most of the land mass. What does it cover, though? I'll tell you. The Greenland Pyramids. Yeah, you know I'm right. The Greenland Pyramids. Inside the biggest of the two hundred and eighteen pyramids is the labyrinth described by the Theseus and the Minotaur myth. It's obviously the home of not the Minotaur but the beast that inspired the Easter Bunny (watch out, it's coming for you...). Proof? I don't need any. It's right there. Just go and take a look. It's a big plastic sheet, I tell you. Just believe me. If you don't, go and look. You'll see that I'm right. Admittedly, the plastic sheet may be covered in many layers of confetti with a very low melting point that behaves like water, but it isn't. I know it isn't. Because it isn't.

   Before SOPA tries to silence me, spread the word! Tell your friends. The Easter Bunny is living in a maze in a pyramid under a plastic sheet under snow-like confetti in Greenland that's being placed there by the US Government. If you're from Greenland and think I'm wrong, think again. You've all been brainwashed.

   Barack Obama, you've been rumbled! George W. Bush may have begun this madness, but you're in charge now. So remove the sheet and let loose the Easter Buuny. Or he'll get you at Easter.

   Remember this message. Your lives may depend upon it.