So we meet again! My my, it certainly is a pleasure.
Well, today I was drinking a cup of tea that my wife had made, which was absolutely appalling. So I went to confront her and she was playing a game called Skyrim. I liked the look of the game so I decided I wanted to play. (It wasn't easy, I had to wrestle her to the ground to get the controller.)
As I was happily frolicking about, with a den of trolls with a multitude of enraged creatures stumbling after me, I heard a dragon roaring, which intrigued me. So I followed the dragon's call and, sure enough, there was a lovely dragon, ever so joyously setting fire to a village.
I guess I must've got too close to the wretched beast, because before I knew it, the fire was being aimed at me. As I hid behind a rock, singed by the flames, I thought to myself: "This is not on."
So it was that I jumped out from behind the rock, ready to face my foe, only to realise that a giant had beat me to it.
I was enraged! I ran at the giant, battle-axe in the air, yelling like a voodoo priest. I guess I must've caught the giant's attention, because he then started to attack me, and I felt I was rather stealthy... Well anyway, this giant wasn't a happy one, and started to swing his club like a psychopath and eventually, to my suprise, he managed to hit me. It was a clean downwards strike which, funnily enough, propelled me a large distance into the air. Needless to say, I was devastated. (I blame it on Ike. He's such a bad swordsman.)
Anyway, it was lovely talking to you all again and I hope my story helps you in life... The moral to this story is that jealousy is bad for your health but good for your altitude.
Bye bye.
Tuesday 28 February 2012
The Hunger Games - A Book Review
As a seasoned reader and amateur writer myself, I know how difficult it is to write the masterpiece that will pin your name to the noticeboard of history. It's even more difficult to do so in such a way that people a hundred years later will be able to read the thing and not (a) think it's complete rubbish or (b) find it unreadable. Take 'To Kill A Mockingbird', for example. The great American classic. It's not all that exciting, especially in the first few chapters. But it has prevailed due to a good prose and a lovely plot, and this has made sure that 'Harper Lee' has become a household name throughout the world. It's even inspired certain celebrities (point the finger at the Beckham family here) to name their children after her. Hopefully, Suzanne Collins' 'The Hunger Games' trilogy will be the same.
'The Hunger Games' follows the trials of the contestants in the brutal 'Hunger Games', an annual fight to the death between twenty four contestants, one male and one female from each of the twelve 'districts'. Katniss volouteers to fight in the games in place of her younger sister, Prim, and so begins an epic battle for her life. Of course, there just has to be a hitch - Peeta, the boy chosen from Katniss' district.
But I've said enough already. Now to the real thing. the review.
The very idea behind this book is intriguing. In a seemingly post-apocalyptic world, one country remains - Panem. Each year, one boy and one girl from each of the twelve districts are chosen to fight to the death in a fantastic arena, with only one survivor at the end. With a premise like this, what on Earth could go wrong?
Basically nothing is the answer. The plot's pretty tight-knit, with no plot holes that I can spot. The past is hinted at throughout the book, though a year is never placed on the story. That's what makes it so excellent. The imagination can't fix it to one spot, so, unlike '1984', it can't exactly be proved wrong. Also, the idea that everyone must die but one means that one can kill off anyone they like, or even if they don't like, to get towards that ultimate, inevitable end. The 'last man standing' sort of thing. I like it.
The characters in this book are fairly excellent. Katniss, the hardcore hunter girl, is fantastic, and Prim is just sweet. Peeta has a very deep element to him. It sort of starts with us knowing very little about him, but he surprises readers by becoming quite central. Well, I say readers... I meant me. I can't really speak for anyone else, can I?
There are some proper good characters in this book, and I really like them. And, of course, a great cast always contributes to a great production, right? Well, that's what you think...
The way this book is written is stellar. In many ways, it is mind-blowingly shocking, howvere you know that the heart-wrenching final goodbyes to the dying have to happen in order for Katniss to survive. That does not, however, make it any less soul destroying. Then again, when I compare this to the third book in the series (Mockingjay), this volume is practically a paddle in the duckpond.
asides from the mind-numbing brutality of certain parts, this is a very fast-paced and action-packed book. Once you get to the arena, you literally cannot put the book down. An unputdownable read if I've ever read one, says I.
So, with that said, a rating must be given.
Solid nine (9). With a fantastic, fast-paced plot and a great cast of characters, this book is due to become a classic, I'm sure. It takes its place on my Shelf of Honour alongside the other great reads that time has brought to me.
And of course, it's only the first in a series of three. And then there's the film that's coming out this coming month. Muhahahaha... Assuming they don't ruin the whole thing, it should be great.
 |
| The US version of 'The Hunger Games'. Note the Mockingjay. |
But I've said enough already. Now to the real thing. the review.
The very idea behind this book is intriguing. In a seemingly post-apocalyptic world, one country remains - Panem. Each year, one boy and one girl from each of the twelve districts are chosen to fight to the death in a fantastic arena, with only one survivor at the end. With a premise like this, what on Earth could go wrong?
Basically nothing is the answer. The plot's pretty tight-knit, with no plot holes that I can spot. The past is hinted at throughout the book, though a year is never placed on the story. That's what makes it so excellent. The imagination can't fix it to one spot, so, unlike '1984', it can't exactly be proved wrong. Also, the idea that everyone must die but one means that one can kill off anyone they like, or even if they don't like, to get towards that ultimate, inevitable end. The 'last man standing' sort of thing. I like it.
The characters in this book are fairly excellent. Katniss, the hardcore hunter girl, is fantastic, and Prim is just sweet. Peeta has a very deep element to him. It sort of starts with us knowing very little about him, but he surprises readers by becoming quite central. Well, I say readers... I meant me. I can't really speak for anyone else, can I?
There are some proper good characters in this book, and I really like them. And, of course, a great cast always contributes to a great production, right? Well, that's what you think...
The way this book is written is stellar. In many ways, it is mind-blowingly shocking, howvere you know that the heart-wrenching final goodbyes to the dying have to happen in order for Katniss to survive. That does not, however, make it any less soul destroying. Then again, when I compare this to the third book in the series (Mockingjay), this volume is practically a paddle in the duckpond.
asides from the mind-numbing brutality of certain parts, this is a very fast-paced and action-packed book. Once you get to the arena, you literally cannot put the book down. An unputdownable read if I've ever read one, says I.
So, with that said, a rating must be given.
Solid nine (9). With a fantastic, fast-paced plot and a great cast of characters, this book is due to become a classic, I'm sure. It takes its place on my Shelf of Honour alongside the other great reads that time has brought to me.
And of course, it's only the first in a series of three. And then there's the film that's coming out this coming month. Muhahahaha... Assuming they don't ruin the whole thing, it should be great.
I Appear to be Here
Oh, goody. I appear to be here.
Seeing as you probably don't already know this, I was on holiday, so I haven't been posting for a few days. Of course, I couldn't say because last time I said so the views went down the drain. Not that that hasn't happened anyway. Bloff.
I had a lovely holiday in the Bahamas, only to be flying home and decide to open my Blogger account to see that a grand total of NOTHING has been posted in the last week or so. As such, I have decided to take drastic action.
I'm activating Protocal 1146 - the 'Extra Author' protocol.
Yup. I'm bringing in yet another author. This time, though, it's different. Because his name is Bill.
So I'm peeved at the rest of you authors. You haven't done squat. Matt, you just got a freakin' laptop for goodness sake! You said that you could access the internet. So use it! Blog! EMoC is slightly excused, but her and Rinrei's exams are over. That excuse has lived its course. Editor - you probably should've done something anyway. Haven't you got a revenge to exact, anyway? And I was on holiday, so I don't count.
So... roll in the Bill, I guess...
Seeing as you probably don't already know this, I was on holiday, so I haven't been posting for a few days. Of course, I couldn't say because last time I said so the views went down the drain. Not that that hasn't happened anyway. Bloff.
I had a lovely holiday in the Bahamas, only to be flying home and decide to open my Blogger account to see that a grand total of NOTHING has been posted in the last week or so. As such, I have decided to take drastic action.
I'm activating Protocal 1146 - the 'Extra Author' protocol.
Yup. I'm bringing in yet another author. This time, though, it's different. Because his name is Bill.
So I'm peeved at the rest of you authors. You haven't done squat. Matt, you just got a freakin' laptop for goodness sake! You said that you could access the internet. So use it! Blog! EMoC is slightly excused, but her and Rinrei's exams are over. That excuse has lived its course. Editor - you probably should've done something anyway. Haven't you got a revenge to exact, anyway? And I was on holiday, so I don't count.
So... roll in the Bill, I guess...
Wednesday 22 February 2012
Rinrei's 'Deep' Thoughts
Skald read this earlier today and thought it was incredibly deep. I think it was just me arguing about my possible multiple personalities and how, if I got rid of these personalities, I would be a shell. I dunno, maybe it is deep and I'm just not thinking right.
My entire life I've been acting. I've been acting as someone that I'm not for so long that I have forgotten what my actual personality is. I tend to stick to two false personalities: the loud, irritating and angry teenager and the silent, hard-working student. If I were to strip myself of these two personalities, then I highly doubt I would have anything to act on and I would become nothing more than a shell.
I first concluded that I needed my angry and loud personality at the young age of three when I realized that in a crowd I was anonymous; I did not exist. People often go about their lives under the illusion that they are the main character of their own show. But the world, cruel as it is, deprives you of that role, leaving you feeling hollow and empty, with only a sad bit of irony as memories of what you wanted to be.
I decided that I did not want to be one of these people and I wanted my existance to be acknowledged; I wanted there to be evidence that I actually existed in this world. I, ironically, did this by making the worst possible personality I could so everyone would know I was there because I would be the most hated person around.
As I moved further into my life, I realized that this personality would never get me on in life; I had to create another personality and keep the one I already had. I created a much more solemn and quiet person to work in classes, so I did not stick out as one of the loud people. This worked best for my school performance and my need to stand out. Surprisingly, being quiet in class makes you stand out more.
Making friends is difficult for someone with two personalities. They expect you to act in a certain way and you try to stick with that personality so they remember you. Unfortunately, I became friends with all the people I know with my irritating personality, so they all expect me to act in that way. Sometimes I am tempted to take in my other personality to see what life would be like for me that way. People then presume that something is the matter with you since you are not acting like yourself.
So I ask myself, do I even have a true self? Does anyone? We just act in certain ways so that we are remembered or forgotten by others. If we are put in a crowd, we all become a single unit where we all do what the strongest says; we become nothing more than puppets.
So technically, personalities do not exist. Not for ourselves, at least. There are ways people view us and that is deemed our 'personality', aty least to them. For example, the views my teachers and my friends have of me are completely different because of my different personalities. I always make sure that the two never collide with each other within the same group of people, otherwise I fear that the image and reality I have built up will shatter within seconds.
I try to live up to people's expectations, but sometimes they start to get used to this personality and mock it, feeling it is necessary to do so. I try to laugh it off, or my personality at the time tries to. But the deed has been done and the personality struggles to regain what it lost in those few moments, often struggling to go back to its early years of violence and hitting things with chairs, failing to satisfy its own expectations; finally cracking and disappearing from existence.
Losing this personality is a small feat as, over the years, I seem to have gained many alter-egos for different situations; none of them seeming to be my true personality. Then again, since it has been so long since I've used my true personality, how do I know that my original personality isn't among all the egos I created?
I guess that if I got rid of these alter egos, then I would be nothing more than an empty shell that reacts to nothing and just does as instructed. I don't really know what would happen, but I am already in the process of losing the personalities I built up for so long, with the first blow to my first personality already done and its grip on reality already slipping. Perhaps life would be better without this ridiculous persona, but I will never know until it's already gone.
Perhaps I will practice without it tomorrow...
Signing off!
Rinrei
(There was some very creepy music playing in the background as I wrote this. I'm kinda creeped out.)
My entire life I've been acting. I've been acting as someone that I'm not for so long that I have forgotten what my actual personality is. I tend to stick to two false personalities: the loud, irritating and angry teenager and the silent, hard-working student. If I were to strip myself of these two personalities, then I highly doubt I would have anything to act on and I would become nothing more than a shell.
I first concluded that I needed my angry and loud personality at the young age of three when I realized that in a crowd I was anonymous; I did not exist. People often go about their lives under the illusion that they are the main character of their own show. But the world, cruel as it is, deprives you of that role, leaving you feeling hollow and empty, with only a sad bit of irony as memories of what you wanted to be.
I decided that I did not want to be one of these people and I wanted my existance to be acknowledged; I wanted there to be evidence that I actually existed in this world. I, ironically, did this by making the worst possible personality I could so everyone would know I was there because I would be the most hated person around.
As I moved further into my life, I realized that this personality would never get me on in life; I had to create another personality and keep the one I already had. I created a much more solemn and quiet person to work in classes, so I did not stick out as one of the loud people. This worked best for my school performance and my need to stand out. Surprisingly, being quiet in class makes you stand out more.
Making friends is difficult for someone with two personalities. They expect you to act in a certain way and you try to stick with that personality so they remember you. Unfortunately, I became friends with all the people I know with my irritating personality, so they all expect me to act in that way. Sometimes I am tempted to take in my other personality to see what life would be like for me that way. People then presume that something is the matter with you since you are not acting like yourself.
So I ask myself, do I even have a true self? Does anyone? We just act in certain ways so that we are remembered or forgotten by others. If we are put in a crowd, we all become a single unit where we all do what the strongest says; we become nothing more than puppets.
So technically, personalities do not exist. Not for ourselves, at least. There are ways people view us and that is deemed our 'personality', aty least to them. For example, the views my teachers and my friends have of me are completely different because of my different personalities. I always make sure that the two never collide with each other within the same group of people, otherwise I fear that the image and reality I have built up will shatter within seconds.
I try to live up to people's expectations, but sometimes they start to get used to this personality and mock it, feeling it is necessary to do so. I try to laugh it off, or my personality at the time tries to. But the deed has been done and the personality struggles to regain what it lost in those few moments, often struggling to go back to its early years of violence and hitting things with chairs, failing to satisfy its own expectations; finally cracking and disappearing from existence.
Losing this personality is a small feat as, over the years, I seem to have gained many alter-egos for different situations; none of them seeming to be my true personality. Then again, since it has been so long since I've used my true personality, how do I know that my original personality isn't among all the egos I created?
I guess that if I got rid of these alter egos, then I would be nothing more than an empty shell that reacts to nothing and just does as instructed. I don't really know what would happen, but I am already in the process of losing the personalities I built up for so long, with the first blow to my first personality already done and its grip on reality already slipping. Perhaps life would be better without this ridiculous persona, but I will never know until it's already gone.
Perhaps I will practice without it tomorrow...
Signing off!
Rinrei
(There was some very creepy music playing in the background as I wrote this. I'm kinda creeped out.)
Tuesday 21 February 2012
Birthdays
Today is the day that marks the anniversary of the birth of two rather obscure writers, one more likely known to you than the other. The first is Skald. Happy Birthday, Skald. You're getting old. Soon enough, you'll be dead.
The second is, of course, our very own container of eyeshadow. That is to say, Evil's turned a year older. We should take this moment to reflect that, despite being the least active author of us all, she still remains a valuable member. Needless to say, if she were to die very suddenly, the blog would not grind to a halt but keep going as though not much had happened. I jest, of course, but still. Do I?
I couldn't really miss this opportunity, could I? Answer: I couldn't. seize the day, particularly when they happen to be birthdays.
Now run along, young ones. Have a cake.
I didn't say it would be a real one, did I?
And I am still of the belief that Evil will age faster than Skald, so she'll hit the ripe old aage of ninety before he does. Heheh, heheh...
Monday 20 February 2012
Why?
Hello, Worms! How are you this fine morning? And by morning, I mean half six in the morning. I'm feeling awfully bored and twitchy, which is never a good sign if you're me.
If you read the 'News' page of the Kettle, you probably know that I'm not supposed to be on here for a while. Just goes to show what I will do to bug people. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Anyway, my reason for being on here is different. I am accepting the downright suicidal challenge of writing a one hundred page long script. That's right, I'm taking part in Script Frenzy.
Now, you may be wondering why I am going to be doing this in the month where all my major exams are. I'm doing it because I'm bored.
Anyway, if I can be bothered, I will comment on here during my vacation. If not, then that sucks for you.
Signing off!
Rinrei
Saturday 18 February 2012
A Blog Exclusive
Hey, folks. I'm feeling annoyingly springy right now, so it's quite obviously time for me to start something completely new.
The thing is, I wish to run my own blog alongside this one. It's not that I don't like this blog; I love it. I just want one or two on the side that I can keep for particular subjects, as this one is, well, varied. 'Colourful' is the term that springs to mind. So it is that I'm going to begin another blog.
"Wait! You did that already," you say. I don't blame you. I did, although I erased every trace of its existence fairly recently. (Did you see that?) Well, that, quite frankly, failed. Even I didn't catch onto it. I got maybe a total of fifty hits before I killed it. So it's dead and, because it hasn't the name 'Lazarus' and I'm not the Messiah, I'm not going to go about resurrecting it. On a sidenote, that blog had no purpose. This new one will.
As soon as it is properly set up, I'm going to hit 'Publish' on this post and you shall all recieve the address, assuming you actually care or read this. You should see the web address appearing beneath this text very soon. It'll also be announced on the 'News' page and in the 'Sites to See' gadget-thing in the sidebar to the right.
I'm off to see what I can do here. Then I have an essay to write.
See you all later, though it's a quantum problem as to whether you get this message or not.
Visit my new blog, devoted exclusively to my writing world, at: http://insane-author.blogspot.com/
Join me...
The thing is, I wish to run my own blog alongside this one. It's not that I don't like this blog; I love it. I just want one or two on the side that I can keep for particular subjects, as this one is, well, varied. 'Colourful' is the term that springs to mind. So it is that I'm going to begin another blog.
"Wait! You did that already," you say. I don't blame you. I did, although I erased every trace of its existence fairly recently. (Did you see that?) Well, that, quite frankly, failed. Even I didn't catch onto it. I got maybe a total of fifty hits before I killed it. So it's dead and, because it hasn't the name 'Lazarus' and I'm not the Messiah, I'm not going to go about resurrecting it. On a sidenote, that blog had no purpose. This new one will.
As soon as it is properly set up, I'm going to hit 'Publish' on this post and you shall all recieve the address, assuming you actually care or read this. You should see the web address appearing beneath this text very soon. It'll also be announced on the 'News' page and in the 'Sites to See' gadget-thing in the sidebar to the right.
I'm off to see what I can do here. Then I have an essay to write.
See you all later, though it's a quantum problem as to whether you get this message or not.
Visit my new blog, devoted exclusively to my writing world, at: http://insane-author.blogspot.com/
Join me...
Gleetroot.
It is a well established fact that whenever you say that something is a well established fact, everyone believes you, without even bothering to check. So with this knowledge in hand, I am going to share a secret with you. It is a well established fact that when you change the first letter(s) of a word to some completely different letters, the word is now an obscure species of dinosaur.
You may think it is wrong, but thing about it. If you get the word 'button', and change the 'butto' to 'iguanodo', then you get the dinosaur. Granted, it isn't exactly obscure, but I was lying before.
Since knowledge is power, everyone who tunes into this blog is now more powerful than those who do not. Unless they're trying to tune into it via radio. Or toaster.
Since that's all I have to say, seaborgium.
You may think it is wrong, but thing about it. If you get the word 'button', and change the 'butto' to 'iguanodo', then you get the dinosaur. Granted, it isn't exactly obscure, but I was lying before.
Since knowledge is power, everyone who tunes into this blog is now more powerful than those who do not. Unless they're trying to tune into it via radio. Or toaster.
Since that's all I have to say, seaborgium.
Friday 17 February 2012
A Scripted Mistake
Mm. I do believe that I've just made one of the bigger mistakes of this year.
I have just gone and signed up for an event known as 'Script Frenzy'. Remember NaNoWriMo? The challenge where I had to write a 50,000 word novel in November only? Yeah, well, that was difficult. This might just be more difficult, depending upon your perspective. That's because it is, in essence, NaNoWriMo, except this time round the challenge is to write a hundred pages of original scripted material in the month of April.
"What's so difficult about that?" you cry. "You've written a 50K-word novel. How bad can it be?"
The answer: Very.
I suppose the great question lurking here is: Why? Why'd I go and sign up for something that I (presently) have no idea how to succeed at? The answer is, as far as I can discern: Because I have no idea. Seeing as I don't have the foggiest where to begin with this enterprise, it's only logical for my to throw myself in at the metaphorical deep end.
With NaNoWriMo, I knew where I stood. I've written stuff before, of course, and that made it somewhat easier. This time round, it's something almost completely new to me. A sink-or-swim moment, I guess, although that moment's going to be drawn out over thirty days. If I swim, yippee! I'll carry on with my life knowing that I can write scripts in a short amount of time, plus I'll have a new script to either sell or keep about my person at all times. Plus I'll get near-unlimited bragging rights. If I sink, however, I won't have lost anything, apart from maybe a truckload of sleep and time. But time's there to be spent, right? I should know, I theorise as to the semi-nonlinear structure of time and causality every day. I call it dreaming-when-I-should-be-working.
In short, I don't care what the odds are that I won't 'win', as it were. I'll try. The experience will go a long way, and prospective employers may or may not wish to know that the potential employee had the time, commitment and sheer downright audacity to go and try something monumental. Much like this, I suppose.
Here's me, hoping to survive past the end of April.
Regards, Professor Pisces
Oh, and if you wish to join me in the frenzy, click the link and sign up.
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/
And, if you wish to become a writing buddy of mine, just search up 'TimothyTurpin' in the on-site search bar.
Wednesday 15 February 2012
The Voyage of the Sable Keech by Neal Asher - A Book Review
Ooh, another Neal Asher book. I do love a good science fiction, and when it's Neal Asher writing it, you know you're in for a roller coaster ride. And seeing as I apparently have the esteemed Mr Asher as a reader now, I'd better not insult him too badly. I jest, of course. But still...
The second book in the Spatterjay sequence sees us returning to Spatterjay (well, where else are you going to set it?), this time for an altogether different sort of mission.
Reification Taylor Bloc is mad, bad - and dead. Following the successful resurrection of the ECS Monitor Sable Keech on the planet Spatterjay, Bloc has commissioned a ship to be built to transport pilgrim reifications to the very spot of Keech's resurrection, named after Keech himself. Unfortunately for Bloc, Erlin, Janer and a few dozen Hoopers, including Old Captain Ron, the Prador Vrell is out there, in the oceans of Spatterjay, just waiting to get away... Assuming that Vrost and his Prador dreadnought don't kill him first. Yet perhaps a greater danger is posed by the agent of an ancient hivemind, here to obtain the most deadly of all poisons... Sprine...
I am, by now, rather a big fan of Neal Asher and his books. Having read only three insofar, I actually own five or so, leaving three of mine still to read after this. Therefore, I cannot claim myself to be an authority on Neal Asher's universe of 'the Polity', nor his recurring characters or even his style. However, I can (and will) judge the rest of his books by the standards set by 'The Skinner' (see other review, entitled 'The Skinner', oddly enough) and by pitting it against my other 10/10 specimen books. Therefore, with this word of warning in mind, I commence with my review.
Every book needs a plot, unless you're Boris Johnson writing your autobiography. Some are strong, some are basic and some are just weak. Of course, 'The Voyage' has a plot too. And I like it. Already outlined above, the plot entails an epic ocean voyage aboard a ship of the dead, plus some living Hooper crewmen and Captain Ron. However, the story isn't confined to the ship. Several storylines take place all at once, a couple taking the Sable Keech as their setting, while the other two or three manage to happen elsewhere around Spatterjay. Of course, they all come together. In my eyes at least, a prospective author would be hard-pressed to write a novel with multiple storylines that didn't come together that worked as a single novel instead of two books inexpertly merged together. If anyone knows of such a book, tell me. I wish to know.
The fact that the multiple storylines actually work as one book is a minor miracle in itself. With so many subplots flying about at the same time, one could easily get very, very lost indeed. Instead, Asher manages to focus on one or two plots at one time, sidelining the others until later. Of these subplots, several fit together very nicely, seeing as they take the same characters or setting. My favourite of these is probably that of Janer's struggle to work out what the heck's happening concerning a possible enemy hivemind, though that has to contend fiercely against the imminent Prador threat against Spatterjay itself. Unfortunately, though, at least one storyline could be dispensed with - that concerning the giant whelk. That just seemed a little too much, though I could see why Asher wished to include it.
Characters! Books need characters too, and the problem for writers with characters is forging believable people to take hold of a situation. Happily for us, or me at the very least, Asher creates some respectable creatures to fit the situation.
It is difficult to identify 'main' characters as such, mostly due to the fact that there are so many plots running around and therefore characters to fill them all. It puts me in mind of the TV series 'The Event' (watch this space; I'll do a series review of that series yet!). However, it is possible to identify major people in each.
First off, there's the Prador Vrell, son of the late Ebulan (notice that 'Ebulan' is an anagram of 'nebula'?). He's just generally amazing, especially seeing as to what happens to his physiology over the course of the book. He isn't evil as such, he just wants to get away and survive to live another day or so.
We also have the full complement of characters from the first book in the Spatterjay Sequence, 'The Skinner'. Janer, Erlin, Ambel, Ron, Sprage... You name 'em, it's got 'em. We even get the old Warden back! And SM13 too.
I do like the Warden and his subminds. His continuing bluffs against Vrost and his dreadnought are particularly enjoyable to read, adding a suspenseful element to the book. This constitutes a good chunk of the Warden-subplot. The Warden starts out as a little bit of a grouchy computer program, but that changes over the course of the book.
So, in conclusion, we have a good range of characters already developed through their use in the first book in the series, 'The Skinner'. having them predeveloped like that is good; it means that Asher can cut to the nitty-gritty of the story and bypass the pleasantries involved in introducing characters.
I think I've run out of things to blab about for now, although I could probably extend this quite a way if I applied myself. However this seems like a good time to give my final review.
Although an excellent book, this book is only getting an 8.5/10 from me. It is, no doubt, a brilliant book, but it cannot really compare to its predecessor. That's the trouble with sequels... They're always judged according to what the last one was like. However, it is also a middle novel, so maybe that's something to do with it.
Excellent characters, several immersive plots and some classic Science Fiction/Action/Thriller stuff strewn throughout? It's my kind of book. Thanks very much, Mr Asher. I look forwards to 'Orbus'.
If you wish to buy the book, here's an Amazon.co.uk link.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Skinner-Spatterjay-1-Neal-Asher/dp/0330512528/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329308077&sr=8-1
The second book in the Spatterjay sequence sees us returning to Spatterjay (well, where else are you going to set it?), this time for an altogether different sort of mission.
 |
| The Sable Keech never had that many Sails, but OK... |
I am, by now, rather a big fan of Neal Asher and his books. Having read only three insofar, I actually own five or so, leaving three of mine still to read after this. Therefore, I cannot claim myself to be an authority on Neal Asher's universe of 'the Polity', nor his recurring characters or even his style. However, I can (and will) judge the rest of his books by the standards set by 'The Skinner' (see other review, entitled 'The Skinner', oddly enough) and by pitting it against my other 10/10 specimen books. Therefore, with this word of warning in mind, I commence with my review.
Every book needs a plot, unless you're Boris Johnson writing your autobiography. Some are strong, some are basic and some are just weak. Of course, 'The Voyage' has a plot too. And I like it. Already outlined above, the plot entails an epic ocean voyage aboard a ship of the dead, plus some living Hooper crewmen and Captain Ron. However, the story isn't confined to the ship. Several storylines take place all at once, a couple taking the Sable Keech as their setting, while the other two or three manage to happen elsewhere around Spatterjay. Of course, they all come together. In my eyes at least, a prospective author would be hard-pressed to write a novel with multiple storylines that didn't come together that worked as a single novel instead of two books inexpertly merged together. If anyone knows of such a book, tell me. I wish to know.
The fact that the multiple storylines actually work as one book is a minor miracle in itself. With so many subplots flying about at the same time, one could easily get very, very lost indeed. Instead, Asher manages to focus on one or two plots at one time, sidelining the others until later. Of these subplots, several fit together very nicely, seeing as they take the same characters or setting. My favourite of these is probably that of Janer's struggle to work out what the heck's happening concerning a possible enemy hivemind, though that has to contend fiercely against the imminent Prador threat against Spatterjay itself. Unfortunately, though, at least one storyline could be dispensed with - that concerning the giant whelk. That just seemed a little too much, though I could see why Asher wished to include it.
Characters! Books need characters too, and the problem for writers with characters is forging believable people to take hold of a situation. Happily for us, or me at the very least, Asher creates some respectable creatures to fit the situation.
It is difficult to identify 'main' characters as such, mostly due to the fact that there are so many plots running around and therefore characters to fill them all. It puts me in mind of the TV series 'The Event' (watch this space; I'll do a series review of that series yet!). However, it is possible to identify major people in each.
First off, there's the Prador Vrell, son of the late Ebulan (notice that 'Ebulan' is an anagram of 'nebula'?). He's just generally amazing, especially seeing as to what happens to his physiology over the course of the book. He isn't evil as such, he just wants to get away and survive to live another day or so.
We also have the full complement of characters from the first book in the Spatterjay Sequence, 'The Skinner'. Janer, Erlin, Ambel, Ron, Sprage... You name 'em, it's got 'em. We even get the old Warden back! And SM13 too.
I do like the Warden and his subminds. His continuing bluffs against Vrost and his dreadnought are particularly enjoyable to read, adding a suspenseful element to the book. This constitutes a good chunk of the Warden-subplot. The Warden starts out as a little bit of a grouchy computer program, but that changes over the course of the book.
So, in conclusion, we have a good range of characters already developed through their use in the first book in the series, 'The Skinner'. having them predeveloped like that is good; it means that Asher can cut to the nitty-gritty of the story and bypass the pleasantries involved in introducing characters.
I think I've run out of things to blab about for now, although I could probably extend this quite a way if I applied myself. However this seems like a good time to give my final review.
Although an excellent book, this book is only getting an 8.5/10 from me. It is, no doubt, a brilliant book, but it cannot really compare to its predecessor. That's the trouble with sequels... They're always judged according to what the last one was like. However, it is also a middle novel, so maybe that's something to do with it.
Excellent characters, several immersive plots and some classic Science Fiction/Action/Thriller stuff strewn throughout? It's my kind of book. Thanks very much, Mr Asher. I look forwards to 'Orbus'.
If you wish to buy the book, here's an Amazon.co.uk link.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Skinner-Spatterjay-1-Neal-Asher/dp/0330512528/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329308077&sr=8-1
Tuesday 14 February 2012
Valentine's Day? Oh Dear...
February's a short month, and we who actually use February know it. Despite this, we see fit to shoot at it with the blunderbuss that fires from its barrel that shot known as 'Annual Events'.
I here refer to Valentine's Day. I know people who have birthdays in February, and I have no qualms about their being born in said month. They couldn't help it, most likely. But anyway, moving swiftly on...
Valentine's Day kind of annoys me, mostly for the same reasons as New Year's Resolutions just don't happen within a five foot radius of my head. My philosophy (or at least, one of several) is: Why wait? Procrastinate and you shall never get there.
The seemingly unfortunate truth is that the greater part of the human race fails to realise this as truth. I can't say that I'm alone in this though, as the probability is that at least one of this blasted humanoid ape race will think in similar ways to myself. However, I cannot assume, so I won't.
So why don't I do anything on Valentine's Day? Well, for those of you who haven't read my prior post on New Year's Resolutions or are just a bit dumb, here you go.
I basically don't believe in holding something off until a specific date just for the sake of it being on that specific date. To go back a little ways and quote myself (sad, I know), "if something's worth doing, then why hold off?"
You see? Holding off just gives us more time to accumulate doubt or other things that need doing. Remember the days when people did homework? Leaving it until the last minute was always the worst thing, and probably ended with you having to do more work. I rest my case.
So what I now want to know is: Who here, reading this, actually did anything for Valentine's Day? Did you buy one of those truly horrible plush monkeys with the hearts on their chests? Did you skirt around the matter and manage not to do anything Valentine's related at all? Did you buy roses? Spit on the calendar? Give me your answers, ether by leaving a comment at the bottom or by contacting me at pisces.kettle@yahoo.com.
Happy Valentine's Day folks (because I'm immune to special occasions but not happiness).
I here refer to Valentine's Day. I know people who have birthdays in February, and I have no qualms about their being born in said month. They couldn't help it, most likely. But anyway, moving swiftly on...
Valentine's Day kind of annoys me, mostly for the same reasons as New Year's Resolutions just don't happen within a five foot radius of my head. My philosophy (or at least, one of several) is: Why wait? Procrastinate and you shall never get there.
The seemingly unfortunate truth is that the greater part of the human race fails to realise this as truth. I can't say that I'm alone in this though, as the probability is that at least one of this blasted humanoid ape race will think in similar ways to myself. However, I cannot assume, so I won't.
So why don't I do anything on Valentine's Day? Well, for those of you who haven't read my prior post on New Year's Resolutions or are just a bit dumb, here you go.
I basically don't believe in holding something off until a specific date just for the sake of it being on that specific date. To go back a little ways and quote myself (sad, I know), "if something's worth doing, then why hold off?"
You see? Holding off just gives us more time to accumulate doubt or other things that need doing. Remember the days when people did homework? Leaving it until the last minute was always the worst thing, and probably ended with you having to do more work. I rest my case.
So what I now want to know is: Who here, reading this, actually did anything for Valentine's Day? Did you buy one of those truly horrible plush monkeys with the hearts on their chests? Did you skirt around the matter and manage not to do anything Valentine's related at all? Did you buy roses? Spit on the calendar? Give me your answers, ether by leaving a comment at the bottom or by contacting me at pisces.kettle@yahoo.com.
Happy Valentine's Day folks (because I'm immune to special occasions but not happiness).
Monday 13 February 2012
Mottos of The Kettle
As you may or may not be aware, Matt recently posted something under the title 'not cheating, just advertising'. I am here to say that a) he's right and b) I was the one to say that first.
Here at the Kettle, we have several different mottoes, most of them being mine. First and foremost is 'Knowledge is Power', which is why I allow you all to be filled with rubbish streaming from the mouth of Matt. Secondly, there's 'Cogito Ergo Sum', which obviously means 'I think, therefore I am'. (If you didn't know that then either you've never done much philosophy or are a hermit who has lived a remarkably long time.) Third, but by no means the last, on our list is 'It's not Cheating, it's just Advertising'.
The origin of this statement is both little-known and of little consequence. The line was born during a particular encounter with the Great and Powerful Skald, who is at times a nuisance and a cheater. (If you read this, I'm sure you'll remember to comment on how everything I'm saying is true, Skald.) The conflict from which said motto stemmed was fairly trivial. He wished to win an online competition, therefore he decided to put up posters about the place asking for folk to vote for him. I said it was cheating; he replied that it was advertising. Hence the words: "It's not cheating, it's just advertising."
Needless to say, nobody voted and that was that. But even then, the statement persisted. And the worst thing is that it's true, too. In the face of being unable to reply in a witty fashion and have the last word while managing to completely disprove everything, I decided to take drastic measures. I adopted it as one of my principle mottoes.
Such is life that I passed on those words of ultimate wisdom to the least wise person on the entire planet, if not maybe the whole dimensional plane. Of course that person is Matt. (Though depending on how you look at it, he may be the wisest of us all and we're all too silly to see it. Though that, I find unlikely.) And, in true Kettle fashion, he plagiarised it.
It's a fact that here at the Kettle, we like to steal a line here and there, usually to subtly embed within the body of a post. Also, we enjoy sending our insidious agents to each other's houses to take ideas from the Ideas Jars that stand in place of the biscuit tins. This is, of course, where the post 'Pink Hippos' came from, though I can't say whose idea it was in the first place. Some philosopher, I guess. But don't all great writers just pluck lines from others' mouths? So is the phrase:
Here at the Kettle, we have several different mottoes, most of them being mine. First and foremost is 'Knowledge is Power', which is why I allow you all to be filled with rubbish streaming from the mouth of Matt. Secondly, there's 'Cogito Ergo Sum', which obviously means 'I think, therefore I am'. (If you didn't know that then either you've never done much philosophy or are a hermit who has lived a remarkably long time.) Third, but by no means the last, on our list is 'It's not Cheating, it's just Advertising'.
The origin of this statement is both little-known and of little consequence. The line was born during a particular encounter with the Great and Powerful Skald, who is at times a nuisance and a cheater. (If you read this, I'm sure you'll remember to comment on how everything I'm saying is true, Skald.) The conflict from which said motto stemmed was fairly trivial. He wished to win an online competition, therefore he decided to put up posters about the place asking for folk to vote for him. I said it was cheating; he replied that it was advertising. Hence the words: "It's not cheating, it's just advertising."
Needless to say, nobody voted and that was that. But even then, the statement persisted. And the worst thing is that it's true, too. In the face of being unable to reply in a witty fashion and have the last word while managing to completely disprove everything, I decided to take drastic measures. I adopted it as one of my principle mottoes.
Such is life that I passed on those words of ultimate wisdom to the least wise person on the entire planet, if not maybe the whole dimensional plane. Of course that person is Matt. (Though depending on how you look at it, he may be the wisest of us all and we're all too silly to see it. Though that, I find unlikely.) And, in true Kettle fashion, he plagiarised it.
It's a fact that here at the Kettle, we like to steal a line here and there, usually to subtly embed within the body of a post. Also, we enjoy sending our insidious agents to each other's houses to take ideas from the Ideas Jars that stand in place of the biscuit tins. This is, of course, where the post 'Pink Hippos' came from, though I can't say whose idea it was in the first place. Some philosopher, I guess. But don't all great writers just pluck lines from others' mouths? So is the phrase:
Good writers borrow; great writers steal.
That's sound advice for anyone out there wanting to write the next 'Lord of the Rings' saga. Don't start from scartch, steal 'The Lord of the Rings' instead.
My point is made. We all like to steal from each other. Such is the authorship of this blog. It's a continuing battle that I intend to win. It's like 'Hungry Hungry Hippos'. Don't believe me? Look it up on YouTube.
A warning to you, Matt: Steal my lines at your peril! If you take too many then I'll raid your mind and leave you out of lines. And I will be King! Muhaha! Muhahahaha!
Ahem.
Keep stealing, folks.
Professor Pisces
Saturday 11 February 2012
Thor - A Film Review
I was lucky enough to locate the movie 'Thor' in the shop
yesterday for a very respectable price. Considering it's one of the few
Marvel films that I haven't seen and that it was over twice the price
everywhere else, I took the liberty of acquiring it.
Following the adventures of the alleged Norse God of Thunder, 'Thor' sees much action take place with side features of mild romance and dusty desert stuff that could only ever happen in a dusty desert place. So let's take a look at the plot.
Thor, God of Thunder, is hotheaded and arrogant. Soon to be king, he takes matters into his own hands once too many times and almost starts a war with the Frost Giants. Banished from Asgard, he winds up on Earth, his powers stripped from him. With the help of a team of freelance astrophysicists investigating Einstein-Rosen bridges (wormholes to you laymen), he must regain his honour and his hammer in order to travel back home and stop a traitor from starting a war...
I enjoyed this film. With action sequences permeated with adequate giant robots and big blue monsters, if you don't watch them with too much cynicism, can be very entertaining. Otherwise, they degenerate into men swinging Viking weapons while big blue men chase them with blades of ice sticking out of their arms. However, they are vastly entertaining and quite surprising at points. (Here, I point to the scene in which the robot reverses itself in every way.)
The characters are rather good. With a casting including Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman, it's got some good actors among the cast to play such people as Odin. However, it is not always the actors that make the film rather than the characters they play. The people of Asgard who are actually turned into characters were formed rather nicely, although the glittering armour into which they all seemed to have been born was maybe a little too gold-plated and platinum-stained, if you catch my meaning. What can I say? Costumes matter to me. Certain helmets struck me as hopelessly impractical though (just look at Loki), and a good deal of Asgardians (is that the term?) never even got properly introduced. I can't give an example due to this very fact. The characters who actually mattered were given appropriate intros, and were developed rather nicely. Even so, I was more than slightly puzzled as to why the director hadn't managed to put in the little effort it would have taken to give these others more depth.
As far as visual effects extended, those implemented in the movie were spectacular in many respects, being both hopelessly unrealistic but generally awesome. Considering that the whole world of the Frost Giants was CGI, it was obviously unreal. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. It's sometimes a good thing to know that the rampaging furnace-o-matic laying waste to the small village in the middle of nowhere isn't real.
The interesting thing about this film for me particularly is that it isn't just set on Earth. In fact, far more than I expected, it is set upon Asgard and the planet of the Frost Giants. More than that, it could be placed in the SF category of movies. The amount of unusual almost steampunk-ish tech surprised me pleasantly. The bifrost particularly amazed me. Who thinks all these things up?
So I now reach the end of my review.
I give this film a seven out of ten (7/10). The action is great and without more than one or two instances of gore, while the plot isn't all that advanced in many respects and so amplifies everything else. The costumes and the characters are well developed, and the unusual technology is certainly a highlight. Therefore, I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone interested in a) action movies, b) Norse myth and legend (even without the 'Norse' part in mind) or Marvel superhero films.
Thank you for your time; now go and watch the thing.
Following the adventures of the alleged Norse God of Thunder, 'Thor' sees much action take place with side features of mild romance and dusty desert stuff that could only ever happen in a dusty desert place. So let's take a look at the plot.
Thor, God of Thunder, is hotheaded and arrogant. Soon to be king, he takes matters into his own hands once too many times and almost starts a war with the Frost Giants. Banished from Asgard, he winds up on Earth, his powers stripped from him. With the help of a team of freelance astrophysicists investigating Einstein-Rosen bridges (wormholes to you laymen), he must regain his honour and his hammer in order to travel back home and stop a traitor from starting a war...
I enjoyed this film. With action sequences permeated with adequate giant robots and big blue monsters, if you don't watch them with too much cynicism, can be very entertaining. Otherwise, they degenerate into men swinging Viking weapons while big blue men chase them with blades of ice sticking out of their arms. However, they are vastly entertaining and quite surprising at points. (Here, I point to the scene in which the robot reverses itself in every way.)
The characters are rather good. With a casting including Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman, it's got some good actors among the cast to play such people as Odin. However, it is not always the actors that make the film rather than the characters they play. The people of Asgard who are actually turned into characters were formed rather nicely, although the glittering armour into which they all seemed to have been born was maybe a little too gold-plated and platinum-stained, if you catch my meaning. What can I say? Costumes matter to me. Certain helmets struck me as hopelessly impractical though (just look at Loki), and a good deal of Asgardians (is that the term?) never even got properly introduced. I can't give an example due to this very fact. The characters who actually mattered were given appropriate intros, and were developed rather nicely. Even so, I was more than slightly puzzled as to why the director hadn't managed to put in the little effort it would have taken to give these others more depth.
As far as visual effects extended, those implemented in the movie were spectacular in many respects, being both hopelessly unrealistic but generally awesome. Considering that the whole world of the Frost Giants was CGI, it was obviously unreal. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. It's sometimes a good thing to know that the rampaging furnace-o-matic laying waste to the small village in the middle of nowhere isn't real.
The interesting thing about this film for me particularly is that it isn't just set on Earth. In fact, far more than I expected, it is set upon Asgard and the planet of the Frost Giants. More than that, it could be placed in the SF category of movies. The amount of unusual almost steampunk-ish tech surprised me pleasantly. The bifrost particularly amazed me. Who thinks all these things up?
So I now reach the end of my review.
I give this film a seven out of ten (7/10). The action is great and without more than one or two instances of gore, while the plot isn't all that advanced in many respects and so amplifies everything else. The costumes and the characters are well developed, and the unusual technology is certainly a highlight. Therefore, I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone interested in a) action movies, b) Norse myth and legend (even without the 'Norse' part in mind) or Marvel superhero films.
Thank you for your time; now go and watch the thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)