An Invasion?

(Note from The Editor: No offense is meant to any group, faction, race or suchlike through the course of this post. It's simply the raving, rambling remarks of a deranged Professor of Temporal Ideology. Well, I told you he was mad...)

Well, it certainly seems that we have a problem here. No, I'm not talking about Guam, or Matt's mysterious Cuttlefish theory - I'm talking about South Africa, instead.

I am convinced that the (pretty amazing) nation of South Africa is attempting to invade this very country, otherwise known to the rest of you people as 'the blog'.

This fairly improbable, but nonetheless likely, idea stems from a super-increased number in the number of South African computers looking at this site. Considering that this particular plot of cyberspace is supremely small in relation to the Internet at large, it is only natural to assume that this increased interest is due to South Africa's plan to attack.

You may see me as paranoid or crazy - trust me, everyone does - and you would be right, to a degree. I look over my shoulder wherever I go to see whether the Mafia is still after me or the FBI has picked up my trail, or if the government of Greenland has sent a professional kidnapper to forcibly (and illegally) extradite me back to the land of snow and ice for spotting that the Greenland Ice Cap isn't real. (It's true! I have conclusive proof! Simply click here.) However, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get me. And I'm not insane. At least, not clinically. Which means you have to pay close attention to me.

Obviously, this focus of South Africa's attention on this blog indicates that they either plan to: a) take over my blog through forcible means or b) kidnap me so that they can force me to write pro-South African posts.

You're probably thinking: "This guy is mad. All of this is highly unlikely." Simply remember that just because something is improbable, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Our very existence is unlikely, yet it appears to have occurred approximately sixteen billion times over the last few million years. Factor that into your calculations.

So, no offense to any South Africans, but at least one of you is conspiring to influence what occurs on my blog. Just remember... I'm watching you...