Rinrei's Rants No. 8 - Food Fights in Art

As you can probably tell from the title, this post is about a food fight in art, specifically during an art EXAM.

I was just finishing off my exam piece, minding my own business, when in comes Shrimpy McShrimp Shrimp holding the most dangerous weapon known to man: An orange. Being the quiet person I usually am in art (mainly due to exams), I said nothing and continued with my work. That was when it happened.

Shrimpy clasped the orange in his hand, making it squirt out orange blood (and leaving the orange crying for mercy), then tossed it at one of the most irritating human worms in the world. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to give out real names so I'll simply call him The Annoying Duck. He threw it at The Annoying Duck. This little duck had an IQ of -5 (lower than a tree, you know), so he decided that since he was 'finished' his exam he could take the orange from his display (which two people were still drawing from) and throw it back at Shrimpy. Needless to say, this is what he did, and chaos ensued.

I'm not sure how, but this turned into an all-out Battle of the Oranges and Tomatoes as, across the two classrooms, those of us that were still drawing or didn't WANT to get in trouble sat in the corner and suffered.

Eventually, one of the oranges came too close to hitting my display. I felt my eye twitch uncontrollably, and I shook with fury. Of course, the idiots that were involved thought I was upset and decided that it would be fun to laugh at my 'pain'. Slowly, struggling not to stab someone with my scissors, I rose from my seat and grabbed the orange piece (now it was really screaming) and marched over to the other classroom, but before I had the chance to rub the poor orange in Shrimpy's face; I stopped.

With all my willpower, I put on a blank face and dropped the orange into the bin. With my friend, Bats, I cleaned up their mess and waited for them to leave. Once they were gone, I began kicking at a nearby table (causing bits to break off; that was a lie, by the way) and, after cooling down enough to stop myself from throttling the nearest person, I got up and told the poor teacher the bad news.

Let's say that instead of feeling awkward or upset when the head teacher comes in, I will be chuckling in the corner thinking: "You deserve it, you little so-and-so." Which goes to show that in real life I really can be cruel, although I'm much more subtle about it.


So as a little warning to you jerks if you ever read this: DON'T THROW FOOD IN THE CLASSROOM! Unlike you, idiots, we actually intend to pass at least one of our exams and not spend our time chatting on the phone and acting like immature brats. Unlike you, we intend to get good jobs and not rely on our parents for the rest of our lives! NOW DIE, DAMN YOU!

Ahem. Signing off!

Rinrei