Following Bill's post about why he was absent (click here to view it), I've decided that it's only right if I throw in some excuses that I never use. For the purposes of this post, I'll be giving you excuses that you aren't likely to need. So, without further ado, on with the show!
My Hemispheres Broke Up - Your brain broke up with itself and now the left hemisphere wants to get its own place. Go figure.
My Hamster Ate My Dog - It's more than a little awkward when you turn up at dog obedience classes and realise that you've left your dog at home. Luckily you have a mutant hamster and everyone knows it, so you can simply say 'My hamster ate my dog.'
I Was Saving The World - If you're a teenage super spy or just your average superhero, why bother putting up with the cries of 'Have you done your homework?' Simply tell them the truth for once: You were off saving the world from Godzilla or somebody with a grudge against the US President. But then again, who doesn't hold a grudge against the president?
Your Mother Forced Me To - Those with wives: When she tells you to do something and you actually did something else, just say that her mother told you otherwise. Simple. No-one argues with their mother-in-law. It's practically a rule.
You Have Displeased The Editor - You have displeased The Editor.
And those are excuses that I shall not be having to use for around a decade, I believe. My hemispheres are quite together, thank you. I used epoxy resin the last time they came apart.
Until next time,
Pisces
No comments:
Post a Comment