Stupid Chainmail - Don't Circulate

It's unfortunate that so many people are gullible enough to think that certain chainmail messages are actually true. It really is. Which is why I'm going to put one certain chainmail to a dark and dismal end. Right now, actually.

The chainmail in question was one that was sent to me by our very own Rinrei. Perhaps she can learn to be less compliant with her friend's friend's friend's wishes to create a lovely big chainmail that goes round and round and round. It's like a wheel, but less funky.

This chainmail detailed a 'virus' that was likely to circulate the globe in a few days time. The warning looked a lot like the one you see below, because I actually cut and pasted it from the email. Heheh. Why make a clever fake when you can just have the original?

First comes the not-so-subtle ploy to make you pass it on, then follows the actual 'warning'.

PLEASE CIRCULATE THIS NOTICE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ON YOUR CONTACT LIST.

In the coming days, you should be aware…

Do not open any message with an attachment called:"Invitation FACEBOOK", regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic torch that burns the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone you had in your address book. That's why you should send this message to all your contacts. It is better to receive this email 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive E-MAIL called: "Invitation FACEBOOK", though sent by a friend, do not open it and delete it immediately. CNN said it is a new virus discovered recently and that has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. It is a Trojan Horse that asks you to install an adobe flash plug-in. Once you install it, it's all over. And there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information of their function is saved.

Okay, so there are several clues here that this just isn't true. First of all there's that beginning message. What chainmail doesn't say 'circulate to friends and family'? It's the whole purpose of its existence.

Second, 'Olympic torch'? Yeah, very subtle. You can't open an Olympic torch on a computer. Especially if it's going to 'burn' your hard drive. Wow. That's just so amazingly coy and brilliant... Not.

Another thing is that I've never heard of CNN actually telling the truth. The same goes for Microsoft - and since when did they do classification of viruses, hm? CNN hasn't said a thing worth saying since they mixed up Obama and Osama bin Laden. That wound up as a clip on 'Have I Got News For You'. Hilarious.

Next, why would you need an Adobe Flash plug-in to do anything remotely connected to Facebook? It's completely unnecessary. If I were dumb enough to open an email entitled 'Invitation FACEBOOK' (note the capitals, people) then I certainly wouldn't be installing a Flash plug-in.

Finally (and perhaps the most blatant error of all), there is no 'Zero Sector of the Hard Disk'. That's what betrays it totally and undermines everything that went on above it.

Now circulate the link to this blog post to at least sixteen million people, or two mother bears will crawl out of the undergrowth and maul forty-two of your friends and family. Don't mock the baldness, people.

Pisces out.